10 Commandments Of Using Someone Else’s Phone

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1. If you’re being shown a photo, look, but don’t touch. All it takes is one finger swipe in the wrong direction to make things real uncomfortable.

2. Don’t walk more than 10 feet away with a phone you’re borrowing in hand. Trot the globe on your own time, with your own cellular device.

3. Trying to guess the password isn’t a fun little game, so if you ever feel like you want to do that, just go ahead and don’t.

4. If you do it anyway, and incorrectly guess the password so many times that the phone temporarily locks, you will get the dirtiest of looks, a heated lecture, and lose permission to touch any other belongings for 1-365 days.

5. Don’t drop that sh*t. Accidents happen, yes, but don’t let this be one of ‘em. Hold a phone that doesn’t belong to you like it’s a precious newborn baby that isn’t covered under warranty.

6. Don’t go through any texts and private messages that don’t belong to you, like some kind of nosy, social interaction deprived scavenger.

7. Don’t answer any incoming calls. This is grounds for immediate termination of friendship.

8. If there’s less than 20% battery, don’t even ask to use it unless you’re calling because it’s a massive emergency. Like, a person better be as on the brink of dying as the phone they’re asking to borrow is.

9. Tell whoever you call or text that you’re doing so from a phone that isn’t yours. Especially if it’s an ex or someone you’ve got history with, because nobody wants your baggage filling up their phone afterwards.

10. Oh, you think it’s funny to go in the settings and change the phone’s language? Pues eres un idiota, y usted merece ser llamado uno en varios idiomas. Tåbe. Tulala. 白痴. ばか. Dummkopf. Idiootti. ηλίθιος. אידיוט. Don’t do this, ever.

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