10 Crazy Things That Happen In The Real World After You Graduate From College


1. You come to the conclusion that adult life might actually be kind of fun.

Happy hours are so sophisticated. And brunch on the weekends? Mimosas and floppy hats are much more “Gossip Girl” than keg stands at frat houses on Saturday mornings. Plus, I don’t have to feel super guilty about dropping a couple Benny’s on a new Kate Spade bag.

2. You will distance yourself from people who aren’t your true friends.

This is especially true if you move away from your hometown/college town. Distance truly does have a funny way of making you realize who matters and who never did. True stuff.

3. You will appreciate your parents so much more.

Damn mom and dad, I am an expensive person! Thanks for always doing my taxes and paying my phone bill and bailing me out when I overdraft my bank account (and also paying for those two trips to Cancun). Seriously, you guys are da real MVP’s.

4. You learn to accept your dating life, no matter what shape it’s in.

Dating casually on tinder, transitioning into (or out of) a long term relationship, or embracing your sexuality. Whatever your relationship path is, you learn not to give a shit and just start doing whatever makes you happy. And it’s awesome.

5. You also learn how to be a functioning member of society.

Turns out, you can figure out pretty much anything if you Google it. How to become a registered voter in your new city? Google it. How much will the fare be from LAX to DTLA in an Uber? Google it. What are my chances of winning the PowerBall? Google it. (Zero. My chances of winning the PowerBall ever are zero).

6. You will probably (at some point) suffer from FOMO.

Fear Of Missing Out is a real diagnosis, people. Watching your younger friends bar hop on Snapchat at all hours of the night is a real cause of anxiety. You will probably feel like your friends are leaving you out of everything because social media will play tricks on you like that.

7. You finally admit your wardrobe needs a makeover.

No, you cannot wear your “Hakuna Mimosa” frat tank in public anymore. And the sequined crop top also has got to go. Your platform stilettos? Also not doing you any favors. Your boss doesn’t want to see you in those, so it’s time to get some new digs.

8. You will probably cry (a lot).

Adulting is hard, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Wanting to go out on a Tuesday and not being able to is definitely reason enough to cry and order an XL pineapple pizza. Being at the bottom of the work totem pole is also reason enough to cry (it just isn’t fair that Sara gets to take clients out for lunch while I’m stuck doing paperwork!!). Regardless, you are freshly ripped from the college scene and you deserve some tears.

9. You find out the real world is terrifying.

What? You mean I have to learn how to file taxes? What even is a 401K? Retirement plan? You mean I can get in trouble if my rent is late? Ugh.

10. And then you realize it’s not so bad.

Okay, I can do this. Plus, that paycheck every two weeks isn’t so bad. And yeah, I guess having insurance is kinda cool. Plus I can now (kind of) afford my Starbucks addiction. All is well.