10 Creepy Old Men (That I Find Incredibly Sexy)


Nicholas Cage, 49

The guy practically invented creepy/sexy; between being a Coppola and owning one of the world’s largest Elvis Priestley collections, and marrying Lisa Marie (arguably the piece de résistance of The King’s hoard).

Benicio del Toro, 46

From having elevator sex with the then 19-year-old Scarlett Johansen after the Oscars (he was 37) to that weird kidnap fetish film with Cher from Clueless ‘Excess Baggage’ where he is short-tempered, dismissive, and banging.

Vincent Gallo, 52

He’s pretty hot if you can ignore all of that bat shit crazy, like when he tried to sell his sperm on the net, available only to Arian Republicans. You’d also have to forget he made The Brown Bunny, and sleep with one eye open.

Danny McBride, 36

There’s something about this mulleted Georgian that makes him the ultimate creep, yet so sexy. He’s also hilarious; MIRANDA we are ready to play PARCHEESI. You’d bring to a BBQ and he’d try to make out with your sister.

Steve Buscemi, 55

What makes Buscemi gorgeous is that he is unbelievably talented. If you look past the crazy eyes and his presumed slew of neurosis there’s a sweet former New York firefighter who’s been repping the wedding band since ’87.

Nick Nolte, 72

Not convinced? Check out New York Stories. Although he’s a twisted Patrick Bateman-type with a paintbrush Nolte is smoooookin’. Today, the 70s sex symbol kind of looks permanently lost, but the old man’s still got it.

Steven Seagal, 61

He has a silky pony tail and leaves bad guys to beg for their lives on the point of his steel-capped snakeskin boot. This Jewish badass is pure anger, and even in his creepy Kimono/fringed jacket combo, he’s bang-worthy.

Ray Liotta, 58

This Jersey thug with the piercing blue eyes has the ability to make women fear for their safety, and be turned on at the same time. You’d have to ignore his talk about body bags and swimming with the fishes, but yeah, dem eyes.

Javier Bardem, 41

Safe to say Mr. Penelope Cruz is probably not a creep in real life, but who can shake his serial killer performance in ‘No Country for Old Men’? Like del Toro, he has the whole eating his words thing going on, because super hot.

Christopher Walken, 70

It’s Christopher Fucking Walken. I rest my case.