10 Guaranteed Ways To Ruin Our First Date
By Eve Stern
1. “No please, tell me more about Amy, your ex-girlfriend.”
If I already know her on a first name basis, I know too much – you’ve gone too far.
2. “So you’re not into feminism except when it comes to paying the bill?”
Please do not rant on about how you find feminists unattractive man haters, but then transform into a tremendous supporter of gender equality when the bill arrives.
3. “With you being financially independent, our relationship will definitely work out”
Our relationship will not work out if we do not have one. First dates are the time to see if we connect, not plan out the structural framework of our nonexistent relationship.
4. “As you can see, I’m sitting a mile away from you in our one sided booth, so no, I’m not having an especially good time.
If you fail to pick up feedback and body language, you are definitely not looking for a second date. So if I say I’m beat and ready to crash, please do not order yourself another drink.
5. “Is that his breath I smell?”
Hygiene bruh, hygiene. Do we even have to go there?
6. “So you’re into Black guys, huh?”
Regardless of your own race, you made it clear (whether you realize it or not) that you have a preference/fetish for dating someone of a different race. Either way, go see a therapist because being “progressive,” does not override your racist/ignorant self.
7. “You’re still talking? Why are you still talking?”
My ears are still bleeding from our date where you talked at me for hours. Look at my beer – if it is all gone, and you still have a full glass, it’s probably because you haven’t shut your mouth enough to drink your own.
8. “Nice sweat pants!”
Thanks for putting the effort of grabbing your Champion sweats from the hamper! Unless you came straight from work, are a professional athlete, or someone stole all your pants from the laundromat, you have no excuse.
9. “Is this real life? Did you just stick your gum under the table?”
Manners are still as cool as Yeezy these days. This includes courtesy to the establishment and the people running it. How you treat others on a date speaks volumes.
10. “Wanna come over and watch Netflix?”
Stop asking me to come over and watch Netflix, this is not a date! If one more dude asks me this, I might just slap him. See the type of anger you’re provoking?