10 Lessons I Learned From My Most Painful Breakup



I learned the hard way that I need no man to validate my worth. I learned that no amount of compliments from the opposite sex could heal the pain of my broken heart and my longing for you, so it’s better to stay away from the other gender while I’m still vulnerable. No texting, chatting, calling, accepting friend requests, or dating until my heart is fully healed.


I learned that it is not good to listen to everyone’s advice and believe what they told you no matter how old and experienced they are, because it just wouldn’t work for all kind of relationships. Sometimes believing in them could mean more harm than good in your relationship.


I learned the hard way too that it is a big NO to attempt getting revenge on your lover based on impulse. Yes, he may be a stupid douche bag who hurts you but revenge is still revenge and it won’t do any good. Think every action you’ll do 100x before you start doing it, and decide only when you’re not too happy or not too sad.


I learned that you can never explain things to someone who is mad because anger equals irrationality. You might have all the best intentions and reasons but to a pessimist, he’ll only see the worst in you. So do not let anything he ever told make you question your worth.


I learned that a woman’s silence is powerful. Women tend to blurt out everything they feel and think. It has been our nature for ages to nag and rant about anything and everything. Sometimes we rush to fix things while everything is still hot; sometimes it’s better to sleep it off and give each other space and time to think things through.


I learned that moving on isn’t something I should rush. As much as I have wanted to get over you quickly, I know it’s not how moving on works and the more pressure I give myself to get over you/us quickly, the longer I’ll take to heal.


I learned that I have to accept that we’ve both changed because right now we’re on our different paths farther and farther away from each other. Your favorite red-velvet crinkles might no longer be your favorite snack and you might already have forgotten the taste of everything I baked for you. As much as I wanted to welcome you back in my life, I know we’ll just never be the same again.


I learned how immature I’ve been and I can see clearly now how I could’ve done better. I still can’t stop thinking all the could’ve beens if only we dealt with our problems like responsible adults. Yet I don’t regret anything that happened at all because it paved the way for my self-improvement. The Lord used the pain of your loss to make me realize how I could be so much more and how I could grow better.


I learned that no woman ever deserves to beg for love and that I am beautiful, smart, and capable of loving deeply and a masterpiece with or without a lover. I might be ripped and torn apart, but still a masterpiece. I’m beautiful, smart, faithful, capable of loving, and though I’ve been hurt, I’m still worth being fought for.


Lastly, I learned how to be patient in waiting. I have been thankful that I was able to love you truly, honestly, deeply, and faithfully during the span of time we’re together. I learned how to be patient in waiting until all of this makes sense as to why the Lord challenged us and placed us in this situation.


I’m ready now love, I have learned and changed a lot
We could’ve been so much better
But we’re over now…
I’m sorry I realized things a little bit too late
When you already lost all your love and care for me
And though we didn’t last,
I still pray that somewhere along the way, we’ll meet again.
And you’ll see how much you’ve changed me.

With love,