10 Reasons Why Having An Identical Twin Is Awful

1. Someone else has your face.

Seriously, as a twin I don’t understand why people think it’s so amazing. Everyone else gets to have their own unique face, but I have to share mine with someone else.

2. You are “The Twins” to everyone.

I guess I don’t have a really cute name with a “y” at the end of it? Being half of “the twins” gets old really fast, because it reduces you both to one identity.

3. People treat you like a sideshow.

The second they find out you’re an identical twin, they expect to be entertained by old stories, or a hilarious twin dynamic. They have the expectation that you balance each other out like twins do in fiction (for instance, one is the smart one and one is the funny one; or one is the prissy one and one is the sporty one).

4. You can be the nicest person in the world, but if your twin is an asshole, some people will see you as an asshole.

You may never meet this person that your twin pissed off, but if they see you, they will give you a glare like no other.

5. You have to share your birthday, which essentially means less presents for both of you.

As an adult this sounds really whiney, but as a kid it really makes you feel crappy.

6. People frequently ask about how birth was for your mother.

Like, I don’t know. I was too busy being born and being gross to really ask my mom to tell me in explicit detail everything about the experience of birthing two children.

7. “Twin telepathy.”

People legitimately believe twins can one another’s minds. Sure, sometimes we’ve thought of the same random thing, like the time my twin and I thought of the song “1,000 Miles” at the same time, for no reason. But, that doesn’t mean I can read his thoughts. We’re not magical creatures.

8. Everyone always wants you to switch places for a prank.

I’m not and have never been interested in switching classes with my brother. It might seem funny to everyone else, but we’d be the ones getting in trouble if caught. And yet, every year, people still ask. If you want twin shenanigans watch The Suite Life of Zack & Cody or something (I’m sure they’ve done a switching places storyline at some point).

9. You have to fight back the urge to vomit when you see movies, TV shows, and advertisements that play up the fetish of having sex with twins (I’m looking at you straight men).

If you think twins are sexy, cool, because you get to pick one. Stop being greedy and nasty. Go ahead and like feet — or whatever else may float your boat — but twincest is a big no-no.

10. No matter how much you fight, or how far apart you are, you always miss having them around.

Someone else is a living, breathing, part of you. Twins have a relationship that people on the outside can’t understand. It’s scary to be so vulnerable with another person.