10 Signs Your Crush Is Too Damn Thirsty

1. He likes a status you post on Facebook within SECONDS. Either that or he’s steady heart-ing your Instagram pics, all in a row, all at once. Now look, when you’re into someone it’s normal to want them to like your status updates because it’s like they’re thinking about you. But damn. Get a drink of water before you Like.

2. He talks about himself mostly because he thinks he’s impressing you when actually you’re looking for an exit and some water to splash in his face.

3. Anyone who posts countless shirtless photos on social media is thirsty. The selfies are from the gym, or after the gym, or on the way to the gym, and they’re posted because he’s waiting on people to Like them when what he should really be doing is drinking some water while he takes all of the seats.

4. He texts you ALL the time, and not even just regular messages but huge paragraphs and you just can’t even be bothered to type that much back because you are trying to figure out how to send him a straw through the phone.

5. Each message he sends has some kind of a sexual innuendo and you wish you could get a real conversation going but he’s steady trying to bring it back down into the gutter because he’s parched.

6. A thirsty crush doesn’t take no for an answer. He doesn’t get the hint that you’re not interested. Maybe you are interested but he is just doing TOO DAMN MUCH and it’s turning you off. Thirsty crushes do not understand this, which is why they should always carry around a bottle to moisten themselves when they feel especially dehydrated.

7. When a crush is thirsty they will suddenly become poetic, texting u bits of poetry, comparing your beauty to the moon and the stars which would be great if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s thirsty.

8. A thirsty crush needs constant validation that you are into him, that you want him, and that’s why he spends so much time spewing poetry and texting you shirtless pics when what he really needs is to soak in a tub of water.

9. Someone is thirsty when you know they have a boyfriend or girlfriend already and yet they’re messaging you at 3am. There must be a drought.

10. A crush is thirsty when you make plans to meet and then they blow you off just before. You think that maybe the thing just petered out. But then, sure enough, here they come running back a few weeks later just as thirsty as ever.