10 Simple Things I Wish I Could Remind My Younger Self Of Every Day

1. Mean is not cool.

Mean is not cool. Mean does not equate depth. Malicious is not desirable. Teasing and provoking and rubbing salt in wounds is not cool.

Choose kindness. Choose compassion. Being nice is very cool. Stop trying to impress boys with your negativity and start trying to impress yourself with your kindness.

2. Some people are just not going to like you, and that’s fine.

Maybe you looked at them funny one time and it put a sour taste in their mouth. Maybe something you said rubbed them the wrong way. Maybe they misinterpreted something you did. Maybe they don’t like you because they’re having a bad day. Maybe they fundamentally disagree with your sense of style. There are a million reasons that someone might not like you. It might not even have anything to do with you.

Accept that you cannot please everyone. This is a fact. There are too many different values and beliefs and feelings and preferences to satisfy. There are too many conflicting boxes to tick. It is impossible, and unnecessary, to gain approval from every single person who’s path you cross. Some people are just no going to like you. Don’t waste time trying to change someone’s mind. I guarantee it is not worth it.

3. You have so much more control over who you are than you know.

Every time you make a choice, take a step in some direction, let someone new into your life, you make a choice that reveals who you are and who you long to be. Try to be more conscious of those choices. Think about those choices carefully. Take a step in the right direction.

4. You should never apologize for doing what you love, or believe to be important.

Don’t apologize for things that make you happy. Celebrate those things. If someone asks you to give up something you love, remove that person from your life. Do not betray yourself by sweeping aside what you’re passionate about to please somebody else. The things that are important to you are worth fighting for.

5. Fighting fire with fire is a bad strategy.

Believe in kindness. Believe in silence if there is nothing kind to say. Do not believe in retaliation. Do not subscribe to the temptation of revenge. Do not hurt back. Absorb. Take what hurts and use it to build your armour.

6. It’s okay to admit you were wrong.

It happens. People mess things up. Admit to doing so. Own up to it. Take responsibility for messing something up. Apologize. Try and fix what you can. Forgive yourself. Move on.

7. It’s okay to admit you were right.

It happens. People disagree. Stick to your guns. Respect that they will stick to their guns too. Agree to disagree. Move on.

8. Relationships are not everything.

I know this is a tough one to swallow. I know it seems like they are. Finding someone who cares about you and wants to hang out with you is so awesome, but it’s a bonus. Life has so much to offer already. You can discover new places, learn a language, pick up an instrument, find what you love and go after it. You can do all these things alone. Relationships are awesome, but they’re a bonus. Try and appreciate life without the extras first.

9. You can do so much with a little self-belief.

You cannot rely on anyone else to cheer you on each time you do something. That’s not how it works. You need to be your own cheerleader. You need to give yourself your own pep talks. You need to be the strongest believer in your skills and your ambition and your determination. Cheer yourself on louder than anyone else. Thank everyone around you for seeing you off, but get yourself where you need to go.

10. You need to know your worth.

Be more entitled. Want more. Demand more. Stop underselling what you think you deserve. Stop downplaying your worth. Know what you’re worth and own it. Treat yourself like the queen you are, and ask the world to do the same.