10 Simple Ways Healthy Couples Can Make Their Sex Lives Even Better


1. Have sex in pitch-black darkness.

As lovely as it is to stare into each other’s eyes, depriving yourselves of sight during sex can be extremely satisfying. In absolute darkness, you’re forced to move more slowly than usual, and to rely on your hands and bodies to guide you in the process of seduction without incurring too many injuries along the way. So buy some blackout shades or shut off every single light in the house, tie a bandana around your eyes, and see what transpires.

2. Try staying completely silent.

Whether or not you’re into dirty talk and porn star esque sensual screaming, it’s tough to stay completely silent during sex. Which is why it can be so much fun to attempt total quiet while you get it on. By challenging each other not to make a sound, you’ll realize just how powerful the sense of hearing is as far as pleasure triggers go. You’ll also set the stage to tickle and tease each other into losing the sensual silent game, and playfulness in the sack goes a long way.

3. Keep your clothes on.

Yes, the naked body is beautiful. You want to tear your partner’s clothes of and feel their skin rubbing up against your own. But sex with clothes on can be equally gratifying. Since mastering the act is necessary to executing most quickies, especially those that go down in public, it feels inherently naughty. As you attack your lover passionately while you’re both still dressed, fumbling with zippers and clasps as you go, it will seem as if you have no choice but to fuck this way. It’s also a great exercise in imagining your partner’s naked body, which is helpful to partner focused masturbation.

4. Leave the door and/or blinds wide open.

Maybe the idea of inviting a third party into your sexual routine freaks you out. There’s still a way to appreciate what it feels like to involve someone else in your sex life, even if the outside party is entirely imagined. Just leave the curtains and/or door wide open as you get busy to establish the sense that you may or may not be seen or heard as you do the deed. While you touch each other, think about what you’re doing through the eyes of a hypothetical stranger passing by or watching through binoculars from afar.

5. Take turns narrating the action.

Starting with foreplay, take turns describing exactly what you’re doing to each other. It’s hot to hear your partner articulate their every move, and when either person stumbles or says something ridiculous it’s a great opportunity to laugh together naked. This is also an excellent way to practice naughty talking. From kissing and caressing to aggressive petting and humping, listening to your significant other narrate their exact approach to turning you on adds another layer of intimacy to the experience of sleeping together.

6. Kiss each other everywhere but the lips.

When you pledge not to touch lips, you’re bound to kiss body parts you don’t usually visit with your mouth and to discover fresh methods of stimulating your lover. By plastering kisses all over each other, you also temporarily transform an innocent act into a titillating one. It’s rewarding to explore new territory as a couple and doing so is sometimes as simple as committing to less traditional smooching.

7. Ban kissing altogether.

By agreeing to a temporary no-kissing policy, you invite experimentation. Stranded together in a make out vacuum, you’ll both have to find ways to replace kissing with other intimate gestures. You might just happen upon a slew of other strategies for arousing each other through physical contact.

8. Repurpose a regular household item as a sex toy.

You don’t have to invest in fancy harnesses, handcuffs, whips, or chains to make sex electrifying. There are sex toys all around you. So many typical household items such as feathers, boas, hairbrushes, toothbrushes, and scarves are lying around waiting for you to see them in a whole new light and incorporate them into lovemaking. Save yourself the money you’d spend at a sex shop and look around the house for objects with unique sensory potential. The beauty is that each item you repurpose automatically holds new meaning, and will forever remind you of its secret secondary purpose.

9. Have sex before you go out.

This is a good rule for any evening you have plans together, and especially special occasions. Why? Because by the time you get home after a serious night out, one of you will probably be too exhausted or too wasted to have great sex. If that isn’t the case, great! Fuck again. But always fuck first. An orgasm is energizing and will position you to take on the night with enthusiasm (and that special glow!). Plus, checking sex off the list before heading out means you can eat and drink your face off without fretting about compromising your ability to pleasure your partner later.

10. Commit to post sex debriefing.

Take turns asking each other a slew of questions immediately after making love. If you want to get better at pleasuring your partner, you absolutely have to ask them what works for them and what doesn’t, and the best time to check in is when the experience is still fresh on your minds and you’re both feeling cheery on the back of climax. As you share your thoughts and feelings, you’ll learn about your partner’s innermost desires and grow closer along the way. As an added bonus, discussing a sexual encounter is sometimes as good as reliving the entire glorious experience.