10 Things You Think Your Significant Other Wants for Valentine’s Day Vs. What They Actually Want

Let’s face it – Valentine’s Day’s hard on everyone. Whether you’re a staunch non-believer, a hopeless romantic, or you’ve already pre-purchased tickets to the Fifty Shades of Grey premier, at some point you’ve thought, “Is a holiday steeped in shadiness and overpriced chocolate really worth all the hoopla?” Let me assuage some of that anxiety by giving it to you straight; no matter your significant other’s stance on this day of “love,” they expect something from you. Whether it’s a kind word, an anti-Valentine’s Day brunch, or a ritualistic offering – they will not abide the day passing unnoticed. To assist your navigation is these most treacherous of waters, I’ve compiled this list.

1. You think your S.O. wants to be surprised with flowers, but they actually want you to just be spontaneous. Forego the hefty price tag of marked-up, probably dyed tulips in pink foil and plan an adventure for the night. Embark on a roadtrip or plan a (naughty?) scavenger hunt. Your lad or lady will still feel the rush of unexpected romance without having to worry about buying a vase or tossing dead flowers in a week.
2. You think your S.O. wants to be escorted to a fancy dinner, but they actually want you to pamper them in a way only you can. Draw a bath for two, pick up their favorite Vietnamese food on the way home, or paint her nails – or let her paint yours. Play up your strengths and lean toward things you can do without reservations.
3. You think your S.O. wants chocolates delivered to their work, but they actually just need to feel special. Besides, your significant other probably doesn’t eat dairy. Save the potential faux pas for their birthday and offer to shine their shoes or bring them coffee exactly how they like it.
4. You think your S.O. wants you to wear expensive lingerie (or wants you to buy it for them,) but they actually want to know you still find them irresistible. No need to strap on (no pun intended) something a little less comfortable, just clean the sheets or wipe down the countertops and surprise your S.O. with a new move or a long, enduring gaze.
5. You think your S.O. expects glittering jewels for the big day, but they actually want to be a shown off a bit. Not many folks will shy away from being clothed in fine jewelry, but it’s really about being clothed in your lover’s affection. A spectacular gold bracelet is certainly one way to accomplish this, but taking one another’s hand as you’re crossing the street or posing together for a tasteful nude portrait are also excellent options.
6. You think your S.O. wants to be alone with you on Valentine’s Day, but they (may) actually want just to be alone. Sometimes the best gift may be a little time to themselves. Life gets hectic; we all know that. A bit of consented space can really be a buoy to a lagging spirit. Renting their favorite movie, pouring their favorite wine, and then just slipping out might be a truly unexpected treat.
7. You think your S.O. wants you to write/make them a love poem/mix tape/collage of lovey-dovey images, but they actually just want to be reminded that they’re on your mind. When we want to let our sweethearts know we’re thinking about them, it’s easy to reach for the ol’ junior high standbys, but resist the urge. Instead of making a construction paper heart with lace doily borders and writing their name in the center with glitter, look into their eyes and speak from the heart. No scouring thrift stores for cassette tapes – or a cassette player for that matter – needed.
8. You think your S.O. wants you to take them on a romantic getaway, but they actually want a little adventure. Romantic getaways can sometimes feel a little scripted, with the planned activities, rose petals on the pillows, heart-shaped beds, and champagne toasts from the fellow bed and breakfast-ers. Chuck your pre-conceived notions of what a getaway with your love looks like out the window and put on your adventurous pants (or not, it’s your adventure.)
9. You think your S.O. wants you to take them to see Fifty Shades of Grey, but they actually want you to work some of the moves seen in the film. Leave the unsexy cinema to the rookies and show your beloved your own singular interests. Maybe leave the domineering overtones on the screen, but incorporating some of the sensual blindfold and hand-binding action could really shake up your Valentine’s Day.
10. You think your S.O. wants you to bring them breakfast in bed, and you’re right! No one is going to say no to that.