10 Tips for Moving Back in With Your Parents
Living at home again is hard. You are not the same person you were before you left for college. Things have changed… For the worse.
1. Do things as a family! Be creative, try a new recipe or maybe go on a hike. Even if things sound lame remember that you are living at home and your life is inherently pathetic.
2. Remember: You can’t spell Parent without Rent. Just something to keep in mind. Under no circumstances should you pay for housing. That defeats the purpose.
3. Help out around the yard unless your parent pays someone to do so already. You don’t want to step on anybody’s toes.
4. Don’t neglect your physical health. Consider turning your old room into a fitness center so that your parents don’t have the satisfaction of doing so later on.
5. Don’t complain about your commute. Your parents have been doing it your whole life. Commuting can be an excellent time to brood about your current situation.
6. If you find your dad’s stash of weed, don’t smoke it! You don’t know what that stuff is laced with these days.
7. If your parents put a sock on the exterior doorknob of their room, it means they probably haven’t done their laundry in a while.
8. Don’t neglect your love life. Make sure to tell all potential mates about your living situation, but refer to your parents as “chill, older roommates” who “definitely did not birth you.”
9. Remember that in Europe, it is customary to live with your parents until the age of 25. Here it is not. It is important for you to move out as soon as you can.
10. If you stumble home drunk, do not crawl into bed with your Mom and start crying about how you’re an unemployed writer making top 10 lists for no money.