10 Tips For Surviving Independent Parenthood

I am single and I am a parent; but I do not consider myself a single parent. Kai’s dad is very active in her life and while we live separately, we have been very successful at co-parenting our little boo… Think of it as an independent parent kinda thing. That being said, I am financially responsible for my household, I take pride in spending quality time with my daughter, I am active on several projects at work, AND I’m trying to be consistent with this blog/ hair journey/ and The Kia and Kai Show thing that I’m so proud of!

With so many time-consuming obligations, life can easily become overwhelming. While I’ve only been a parent for 2 years, I’ve managed my own household for 5, maintained the same full-time career for 6 , all while completing many public relations gigs on the side.

The following 10 tips are my guide to survival.

Feel free to add-on…

1. EStablish A Good Support System

I am fortunate enough to have my mom, Kai’s dad Daniel, and my best friend Krista. They are always willing to help! Whether its watching her, shopping for her, calling to check on her… We all love us some Kai!!

2. Create A Schedule

There are pros and cons to living life on a clock. My days seem to go super fast but I am able to maximize my time and be productive. Time management is a huge part of surviving independent parenthood.

Adhering to a strict schedule ensures that you have fulfilled your daily obligations and adds organization to what could easily be chaos.

My Schedule:

My day starts at 7:30AM. From 10-6 I’m committed to work, after that its me and Kai. We have dinner and baths, then the rest of the evening is girl time. We color, do flash cards, feed the fish, watch Doc McStuffins, dance in the mirror and just have fun! When she’s asleep at 10:30, I focus on cleaning, blogging, editing for YouTube, and catching up on current events. I go to sleep around 2 AM and do it all again the next day.

3. Set A Budget

I hate to be blunt, but when you’re an independent parent you have very little room to f up financially. The best way to combat being financially irresponsible is to have a plan for your money… a budget. Make it a habit to pay yourself. By ALL means, you’ve worked hard fo  it and you deserve to reap the benefit. BUT I’m not talking about the latest bags, watches, and glasses… I’m talking about SAVING and INVESTING!

Save for a rainy day, invest wisely so there will be no rainy days. It is also important to pay bills on time. I try to keep rent and car paid a month in advance. I’ve found it beneficial to pay car and renters insurance in one payment, as to decrease my number of monthly bills. SAVE on gas by not going unless you have to. SAVE on household items by buying in bulk when you find it on sale. An independent parent/ adult should never be without toilet paper, paper towels, bleach, detergent and other personal essentials.

4. Discipline

Balance is very important, especially with MY two-year old. She’s spoiled rotten but has gotten accustomed to hearing “NO!” I learned that you have to establish boundaries, set expectations, and follow through with praise/ consequences. It builds character… a little discipline never hurt nobody. Same holds true for every aspect of independent parenthood. Try applying the rules of discipline to your budget and time management.

5. Patience Is Truly A Virtue

Life is not perfect. Sometimes {stuff} happens when you least expect it. Sometimes you get tired of work, people, and questions… You may even get tired of hearing “mommy” a billion times in a row for no reason at all. Just remember that it’s mind over matter. Exercise patience… even if it requires a 10 minute time out before hand. Think of it as a test; will you pass or fail?

6. Me Time

I don’t get much but it is definitely healthy to steal some time each day to do absolutely NOTHING!! Well, that’s what I do. Just chill and think. Sometimes I get lucky and get a few hours break. That’s when I like to play in my hair. #CurlyGirl #KiasHairJourney (Make sure you say hash tag when you read this… It makes my day!! LOL)

7. Let The Kid Help

This one is monumental! Kai observes and imitates every little thing I do. She enjoys changing trash liners, folding face cloths, holding the dust pan, and passing me clean dishes from the dishwasher. Not only is she learning and having fun, but the housework is getting done while spending quality time.

8. Bargain Shop And Stockpile

Wait… not like a hoarder; there are definitely levels to this. I mentioned a list of items that all independent adults should always have on deck. Well there are more… Basically anything that you know you’re going to need to efficiently run your home. Target and Kroger’s Manager Special section are great places to start. They always have a clearance and I have been able to rack up on essentials like toothpaste, tooth brushes, lotion, Finish dishwasher tabs, JetDry… The key is to only buy these items on sale and when you find it on sale, rack up! Thanks mom, I get it now!

9. Organization vs. Clutter

I’m no Pinterest Queen, but I can appreciate an organized and neat space. Everything in my apartment and on my desk has a specific place. It is hard for me to relax or be productive in a cluttered space. I plan to do a video to show you guys some of my storage solutions. Creativity and personal taste will get you a long way with a little money! Now let’s be very clear, my closet and laundry space are disastrous. But I know where everything is and I’m OK with that. I’ve accepted that folding clothes and putting them away does not work well with my life. That chore is for the birds!

10. Don’t Sweat

…And IF you do, don’t let em’ see you! Don’t get overwhelmed and allow yourself to feel defeated. My mom always said, “If there is a way in, there is a way out!” Sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back, analyze the situation and approach it with a fresh prospective. Positivity goes a long way. You have to be your biggest motivator. You have to affirm that you CAN and WILL and then you have to DO! No one knows what you’re going through unless you tell them. Anything that may cause you to sweat, is probably best kept between you and God! Nobody else has the power to do anything about it… So spew happiness, joy, and positivity and watch it turn around!

XO,
Kia