10 Ways To Get More Comfortable In Bed When You Feel Like You Don’t Know What The Hell You’re Doing


Sex is everywhere; in pop culture, movies, music, fashion, advertising, and marketing strategies. It is constantly thrown in our faces, whether we notice it or not. But, for many of us, sex is not an everyday topic of discussion; heck, it’s not even a weekly one. But, why is that? Could it be because as we grow up we are confronted by these questionable explanations and myths that do nothing but confuse us even more? There are many reasons to think so.

We all receive a sexual education, one way or another, either from our parents, from our teachers, from popular culture, or from online resources when we take it upon ourselves to get educated. And, depending on the medium from which that education came from, we will either develop a healthy relationship with sex or a toxic one. Even though sex is not addressed as it should be, it is crucial to understand that our well-being depends heavily on it. We are sexual creatures, and the sooner we accept that, the better it will be for everyone. So, here are ten way to get more comfortable under the sheets:

1. Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!

You’ve probably heard this a thousand times before, but communication is the key to solving all the world’s biggest problems. Naturally, communicating about sex will do nothing more than liberate you and allow you to embrace one of the most basic instincts of the human species. The more you discuss your sexual experiences and learn from the affairs of others, the more comfortable you become with sex itself. Let’s talk about sex, baby! Let’s talk about you and me! Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be!

2. Setting The Mood

For many of us, the atmosphere matters a lot. It can either be a huge distraction or it can allow us to stay in the zone. So, there are a few simple things to try: freshly cleaned bed sheets, no phones, candles, sex toys, and the list can go on depending on your preferences. As you probably already know, candlelight is really flattering. Everyone, without exception, looks good in candlelight. As for kinky toys, there is definitely no pressure intended. If you don’t like them, then don’t use them. But give them a shot, at least once!

3. Treat Yo’self!

We all have our insecurities. And, when it comes to our bodies, we are experts in finding flaws. But, there are many ways to mask them and even forget about them entirely. Pampering yourself with a fancy face mask or a steamy bubble bath will help you relax and at the same time feel better in your body and about your body. A smooth soft skin is undeniably sexy. You don’t have to put on tons of makeup or spend a fortune on salon treatments. The easiest and most important thing is to feel clean in your own skin.

4. Tune Out The World Around You

We all have different lifestyles and naturally we all like different types of sex. Just because your coworker was gushing about this new position, it doesn’t mean you absolutely have to try it. But, if you give it a go, and you quickly find out it’s not for you, that is perfectly OK. Sex is an intimate experience and if anything in this world should not be dictated by society, sex is definitely it!

5. Kiss All Your Worries Goodbye!

You have to let go of your insecurities. If sex is happening, that means that you are wanted and loved. It means that you are beautiful and attractive. And, it probably means that your sexual partner spent hours thinking of all the fun you two will have together. So what if you are too fat or too skinny, or you think your hair doesn’t look good today? This person is most likely not thinking about your flaws. They are way too into you, to be thinking about anything else!

6. I’ll Tell You What I Want, What I Really, Really Want!

There is nobody who can get into your own head, other than you. You should not expect your partner to know what you are thinking or what you actually want or need from them. So, don’t be afraid to speak up. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and liberating. It should be bringing you and your person closer together. The people involved in all the action should know exactly what to do and what not do. By getting all of the important information out there in the open, you will most definitely reach orgasmic highs!

7. Stay In The Moment

“Gosh, I really need to reply to those emails!” or “Are these candles going to cause a fire?” or “When will I have the time to clean that closet?”

There is nothing more frustrating than losing focus and letting your mind wander during what should be an intense moment of pleasure. Honestly, how do our minds even begin to think about something as mundane as groceries while we’re in the middle of an intense make-out session? Your body is going through a highly enjoyable experience and you being disconnected is taking away from its awesomeness.

8. Pace Yourself

I mean if rushing it is what turns you on, by all means, carry on! But, otherwise, if you don’t take the time to actually enjoy what is happening, odds are that the whole experience will not be that memorable. This is not a chore that needs to be taken off of your to-do list. This is something that is entirely for your pleasure. Seriously, who is chasing you? Good things come to those who wait, you know!

9. Learn How To Fly Solo

You should be the one who knows your body best. It’s all there for you to explore and to learn how to get it aroused and make it tingle. Your body is not gross at all and despite all its flaws, it’s beautiful and it is the body you have been destined to have. Sure, we all have days when we cannot even look at ourselves in the mirror. But, on the days when you actually feel good in your own skin, take the time to appreciate the freckles, the wrinkles, the stretch marks, and the weirdness of your genitals.

10. Just Breathe

Finally, if nothing works, just take a deep breath, count to ten, and then let go. Do this a few more times if you feel that it is helping with calming those nerves. Having sex is not supposed to be stressful or to cause too many worries. It is simply a beautiful moment happening between two people who connected enough to take this step. So, don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by stress. Instead, just breathe and have some fun.