10 Ways You’re Turning Him Off (Without Even Realizing It)


I know I am not the only one who wonders why some people don’t text back or ghost you. Maybe you’ve been single for awhile and can’t figure out what’s been going on with the guys you date. Here’s a list to help you through the complicated ways of trying to understand how you’re turning him off.

1. When you are consistently trying to talk to him, 24 hours a day texting him, messaging him on various social media platforms. If you are constantly asking him meaningless questions or trying to text him constantly while he makes minimal effort to talk to you back, he is most likely turned off by you. Unfortunately what people like when dating someone is to know that the other person is self-sufficient and can stand on their own two feet. You want someone to date you and choose to be with you and aren’t simply only with you because they need someone, anyone to be with.

2. When you don’t put effort into basic hygienic concepts, you are more than likely turning him off. For example, one should take pride in putting effort into maintaining general cleanliness such as fresh breath or clean nails. One should be able to take care of themselves enough to ensure that basic odors and cleanliness are considered when dating.

3. When you are coming on too strong. After one date if you are already asking about his thoughts on marriage or children. You can’t possibly seriously be that into someone that quickly. If you are, you should strongly re-evaluate where you are in your life that makes you choose someone so quickly without getting to know them more.

4. When you are constantly pushing your beliefs onto him. If you are someone who is religious and are asking him to go to your place of worship with you, you are likely going to be having him feeling uneasy. If you are someone who constantly pushes being vegan onto him and shame the food he eats, he is likely going to turn to someone who doesn’t bother him as much when he eats his steak as you are probably turning him off.

5. When you have an unkempt home. I know it seems annoying to constantly be cleaning and organizing your room you rent or your home, however, keeping your room or house tidy is a way to show that you are able to care for yourself. Even if you are going on a first date, you never know if he is going to come back to your place after so it’s best to keep your house tidy and organized just in case a guest comes over. When he has to move several pieces of clothing off your bed to sit down, he is probably not going to be interested in seeing you again.

6. When you don’t have anything to bring to a conversation. When you two have nothing in common, when you have nothing to discuss with him on a date, you need to re-evaluate why you want to date him. When it is hard to have a simple conversation with someone you most likely shouldn’t even bother dating. It is likely he is probably turned off by you two also not having much in common or nothing to even discuss while dating.

7. When you are unable to communicate your basic feelings to him. If you are unable to tell him what you want or what he does that bothers you, he won’t take you seriously. He will most likely get angry with you for not being able to communicate your feelings and in turn will likely be turned off by your inability to articulate what you want.

8. When you are constantly on your phone. When you are constantly checking your phone, texting your friends or simply mindlessly checking social media when you are with him, he is likely going to be turned off by you. If you are not able to be present in the moments you are dating someone, the other person will certainly be turned off by that. Fun fact: I dumped someone after he was staring at a professional model’s social media video on repeat when I was in bed naked next to him. Reminder: you will get dumped if you check your phone to stare at a random models naked page when you have someone naked in your bed.

9. If you are being too clingy. If you know that they have a busy schedule and are still trying to hang out with you and talk to you non-stop they will likely get sick of you constantly trying to talk to them.

10. When you are constantly acting as if you are too busy to hangout or even answer him back. If he texts you and you take a few days to respond to him, he is likely going to stop trying. If you are playing “hard to get,”he will likely find someone new who actually puts in effort into talking to him.

Finally, please remember that this list of ways you are turning him off does not dictate or determine your self-worth as a person. These are only helpful reminders to think about when interacting with a potential new partner.