100 Adorable Nicknames For Menstruation
By Jim Goad
1. Arts And Crafts Week At Panty Camp
2. At War
3. Aunt Flo
4. Back In The Saddle Again
5. Beelzebub’s Tea Party
6. Big Red
7. Bitch Is Back
8. Bleeding Dead Babies
9. Blood And Eggs
10. Bloody Mary
11. Blowjob Week
12. The Check Engine Light Is On
13. Checking Into The Red Roof Inn
14. Cherry-Filled Donut
15. Cleanup In Aisle One
16. Closed For Maintenance
17. Code Red
18. The Communists Are In The Funhouse
19. Court Of The Crimson King
20. Crime Scene In My Panties
21. Crying The Bloody Tears Of Unrequited Love
22. The Deathly Hallows
23. Devil’s Juice
24. Diaper Week
25. Dracula’s Teabag
26. The English Have Arrived
27. Eve’s Curse
28. Falling Off The Roof
29. Female Trouble
30. Fighting The Scarlet Crusade
31. Flying The Japanese Flag
32. Gettysburg
33. Girl Flu
34. Hide The Knives Week
35. High Tide
36. The Hunt For Red October
37. Icing On The Cake
38. Jam Sandwich
39. Ketchup On The Steak
40. Lady Business
41. Lady In Red
42. Leak Week
43. Lingonberry Week
44. Lining The Drawers
45. Little Miss Strawberry
46. Making A Glass Of V8
47. Making Marmalade
48. Making Vampire Soup
49. Massacre At The Y
50. MenstroMonster
51. Miss Scarlett Has Returned To Tara
52. The Monkey Has A Nosebleed
53. Monthly Subscription
54. The Monthly Volcano of Doom
55. Moon’s Blood
56. Mother Nature’s Monthly Gift
57. My Cup Runneth Over
58. My Friend TOM (Time Of Month)
59. My Quarterly Dividends
60. Old Faithful
61. On Auto-Drip
62. On The Blob
63. On the Rag
64. Opening The Floodgates
65. Ovum Independence Day
66. The Painters Are In
67. Painting The Town Red
68. Paper Cut
69. Passing A Liver
70. Plumbing Problems
71. Punched With The Red Fist
72. Raggedy Anne
73. Ragnarok
74. Rebooting The Ovarian Operating System
75. Red Badge Of Courage
76. Red Dot Special
77. Red River
78. Redrum
79. Riding the Cotton Pony
80. Riding the Crimson Tide
81. Rusty Beaver Season
82. The Sacred Dance of the Uterus
83. The Sacrificial Goats Have Arrived
84. Santa’s Bringing The Presents
85. Saving Ryan’s Privates
86. Season Of The Werewolf
87. Serving Box Wine
88. Shark Week
89. The Shining
90. Sitting On A Bottle Of Merlot
91. St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
92. Strawberry Salad
93. Taking Carrie To The Prom
94. Technical Difficulties
95. That Time Of The Month
96. Time For Chocolate
97. Transmission Tune-Up
98. Trolling For Vampires
99. Up On Blocks
100. Walking Along The Beach In Soft Focus