11 Reasons Crop Tops Have To Go

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Never has a fashion trend been more puzzling or baffling than the recent comeback of the dreaded crop top. Either the economic downturn has affected so many women that they’re attempting to fit into their baby clothes, or the people making these shirts have decided to stop halfway to protest for higher wages. No matter the reason for the increasing prevalence of these half-shirts amongst young women, there are plenty more reasons for them to disappear forever. Here are eleven of them.

1. Your entire stomach is out… at all times.

When you’re wearing a crop top, you’re no longer simply eating lunch, walking the dog, or going shopping. You’re eating lunch with your stomach out, walking the dog with your stomach out, and going shopping with your stomach out.

2. Crop tops look good on no one with more than .05% body fat.

If only “hot skinny models” can really pull them off, maybe they shouldn’t be a trend for the remaining 99.99% of the population.

3. Crop tops are only half of a shirt.

“Excuse me miss, but it seems that you might have misplaced the bottom half of your shirt.”

4. For the same price, you can get a WHOLE shirt.

You’re being ripped off for those 6 inches of fabric, friend.

5.Trying to find a full-length shirt in a store is an uphill battle.

The ultimate disappointment: You spot a cute shirt on the rack at a store. You’re excited. It’s perfect. You grab it off the rack and… it’s the same size as your sports bra.

6.Exposed belly buttons. Everywhere. All around you.

Belly buttons will always be upsetting.

7. This garment is pointless.

A crop top is basically a dickey with armholes. May I add that dickeys are supposed to be worn under actual clothing?

8. Do you feel that draft down there?

There is no good weather for crop tops. They are entirely impractical. You either have a cold stomach or a crop top tan. Take your pick.

9. Miley Cyrus is known for wearing crop tops.

She is also known for performing in her underwear. So there’s that.

10. Do you really want to sit in class in front of your professor wearing half a shirt?

“Yes, hello professor. Please go on lecturing without being distracted by my half-shirt.”

11. That shirt is incomplete.

Would you buy half of a TV or half of a dinner plate? How about a half bike or half skis? No? Then why did you buy 50% of a shirt?

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