12 Classic Texts Every Worrier Has Sent At Least Once

By Christopher Hudspeth

1. The Genuinely Concerned But Playfully Attempting To Confirm That Someone’s Not Dead

2. The I Just Heard An Ambulance Outside So I’m Checking On Friends & Family Who Live In A 5-Mile Radius

3. The I’m Going On A Plane So I’m Extra Paranoid About Death

4. The Outgoing Call Because You’re Too Impatient To Wait For A Text Response

5. The Plan Clarification

6. The I Have No Faith In You Plan Clarification

7. The Routine Check-In After Hanging Out

8. The Talking To Yourself Trying To Make Sense Of Their Unresponsiveness So You Can Stop Worrying

9. The I Can’t Sleep Because My Brain Is Keeping Me Awake With Anxious Thoughts

10.The One Where You Don’t Want To Sound Too Confident About The Near Future Because It Might Tempt The Universe To Kill You

11. The One When You’re About To Introduce A Friend To Another Friend And You Want Them To Get Along So Badly That You’re Over-Preparing Them To Meet

12. The I’ve Got A Symptom So Here’s My Unofficial, Official Will

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