12 Life Lessons You’ve Learned From Your Dog

A fuzzy companion piece to Brianna Wiest’s 12 Life Lessons You’ve Learned From Your Cat

1. If someone feeds you snacks, never let them doubt your love by following them around until the day you die.
2. Even if you hurt someone deeply by fighting with them or, you know, ripping up their favorite sweater- cuddling up to them and being extremely friendly will make it difficult for them to stay mad at you.
3. Puppy eyes work 85% percent of the time. Break them out when you accidentally pee on someone’s floor or when you vomit in their sink. People will act like these puppy eyes don’t work on them. Unless they don’t have a soul, they’re a liar.
4. Always let the ones you love know how much you mean to them. Greet them warmly and with excitement. There is a large chance you just might make their day.
5. Walks are kind of the best thing in the world. Go on numerous, lengthy ones. Go trekking in the woods and run through the trees. Be intrigued by everything you see. Question the world and smell everything.
6. Take ownership of what is yours. Pee on things you don’t want other’s touching and make eye contact with them while doing so. They need to know who is in charge.
7. Assume that all people, at their core, are kind. Let them show you their goodness. Be approachable until they prove to you otherwise.
8. Know when to roll over and play dead and when to growl and bare your teeth- letting people know not to fuck with you.
9. Never bite the hand who feeds you. Seriously, respect your bosses and those who sign your checks. Even if you would rather dump acid on your face than interact with them, sometimes putting up with their bullshit in exchange for not having to live off of steak flavored ramen is worth it.
10. Licking people’s faces is the best way to show your affection for them. Do it often and vigorously.
11. Playing is good for the soul, always. Be playful and kind to those around you. It is the perfect cure for a bad day and will brighten up the days of those you adore.
12. Life is short and beautiful. One day we’re just young pups who barely know any tricks of adulthood and the next, we’re old and grey and struggling to get out of our beds. Enjoy every second of it because in the end, we’re all life’s bitch.