12 Magical Things That Happen When You Donate Money To Charity


1. Giving to charity boosts your mental health.

Bending waaaay back (in time), humans thankfully found being in community increased survival rates (and of course, chances for sex).  Reaching out tenderly to others a-washes one in the “givers glow.”  Say, “Hey, there, gorgeous” to euphoria, serenity, and happiness created by a gush of dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin.

2. You’ll be less stressed. 

Don’t think about it too much, the irony will kill the mood. But swiftly surround the delightful thought that giving money and time, two things we stress about not having enough of, actually shrinks those same stress factors.

Thank you to the same chems strutted above. Like a new love, focusing on another in the act of giving reduces stress by seducing your active mind from your concerns. You just sit there and let go, baby.

3. You’ll live a longer, better life. 

This is a symbiosis made in heaven. You’ll live oh so much longer if you give. And you’ll be able to give oh so much more when you live longer. 

Here’s how it swells together — you’ve got chromosomes and they’ve got tips with telomeres. The thicker the telos, the more your cells procreate, I mean replicate. Since stress uses up telomere length, the less you’re stressed, the longer life you’ll have. 

4. It will get your blood pressure down.

Giving to charity washes your noggin in those calming chems, making the heart throb slower and steadier and your vessels widen.  

5. You’ll fall asleep easier.

While it feels good be be aroused, hyper-arousal is something to steer clear of, unless you’re into that kind of play. When one is calmed, serotonin and dopamine participate in a delicious duo that delights you with a delicate cycle of sleep.  

6. You’ll have leaner legs.

Givers have been shown to be leaner, all other controls being equal. When people are happier, they eat the most healthy of items, such as dark chocolate covered strawberries handed to them by their lover. 

Further, being in such a great cheer means  only good-mood-foods will do, so healthier eating is a natch. And the sensuous feeling of being bathed in serenity makes for more energy to exercise when one finally decides to wrest themselves from a warm embrace.

7. It reduces the risk of cancer.

Okay, serious interlude time, because cancer sucks. In one study, those who gave to charities reported less incidents of cancer than others, after the controls of age/income/locale were taken. 

The cause of cancer is unknown, but the studies do show if someone is obese their likelihood of certain cancers increases as they become heavier. Obesity causes factors that assist cancer to take hold, like inflammation, high levels of estrogen, and irregular cell growth.

Okay, back under the covers for some snugs.

8. It will strengthen your immune system.

The big O: Oxytocin says why don’t you just get into something more comfortable, like the sheets. Time to stop being in reaction, and time to just enjoy whatever fulfillment life has to offer. With this outlook, more energy is available under your soft skin to ward off that intruding little organism. Thanks Big-O.

9. It will give you self-satisfaction.

Human love machines hum along with a better feeling about themselves. Because they are awash in goodness, they have touched themselves in ways no other can. Indeed, another’s touch is only sharing what the self-satisfied giver has already fondly felt.

10. It will lower your health insurance rate.

With all that good sweaty health maintenance, insurance companies are going to be happy to give you a thank you by not charging as much. Now you’ll have a few extra dollars to slap on someone’s tookis while you wait to pay cash for the food to be delivered after your little workout.

11. It will make you richer. 

Giving to charities stimulates your big, beautiful juicy brain parts that want to meet your needs. So giving improves that wonderful wiring and we get better at providing for ourselves and our loved ones. Also those who are seen as charitable, across a crowded room, standing nonchalantly as others undress them with their eyes, are elevated to higher positions in society. 

Givers express themselves more confidently. And since everyone is an expert at body language, we all know the more self confident hunk/ettes are more likely to be promoted. Further, you build business connections when you meet and swoon over other stud-muffins at philanthropic events.

12. You’ll have hotter sex.

Everyone is an adult here and has lived enough to know when we are happier, healthier, and more well-rested, we can serve it up saucier.