12 Signs You’re Dating a Girl, Not A Woman

It has come to my attention that many women believe “real men” do not exist anymore. As if all of the “good guys” are gone, and the hashtag “#foreveralone” will define their lives indefinitely. The same women that make these claims are often the same women who are oblivious to those “good guys” that are all around them. The point of my rant is that I’m here to say that we do exist! We’re just in hiding.

We’re hiding from all of those women that believe twerking is a legitimate form of dancing, those that feel like cheating is acceptable (assuming no one finds out), and those that firmly believe not telling the whole truth isn’t lying. As a guy, it is easy to be roped into dating someone that doesn’t quite fit your idea of what an “ideal mate” might be. While it has been my misfortune to date some “unique” women, I have learned a great deal from my experiences. The following list is meant to inform, not to hate on, call out, or even upset anyone; this is simply an observational list of what I’ve seen while dating. Enjoy.

1. Her life is “so” complicated.

She works 10AM-6PM yet cannot manage to get her life in order. She’s consistently struggling with “stress” because she doesn’t get to spend enough time doing the things she wants to do, yet she goes out 3-4 times per week. Her parents still pay most of her bills because her college major won’t pay the bills…yet. Or so she says.

2. She’s unable to make a decision without consulting her daddy.

Confidently making decisions is the sign of a true adult. We may have absolutely NO idea if it is the right one, but we make it, learn from it, and move on. If your girlfriend needs to have a phone conference with her “daddy” to figure out if it’s “OK” to put air in the tires of her car, reconsider the fact that she’s your girlfriend.

3. She has champagne tastes on a PBR budget.

Sure, that Louis Vuitton handbag looks great tucked under her spray-tanned skin and dyed hair, but if she worries about paying rent this month, her priorities are clearly out of order.

4. She’s simply “figuring out her next move.”

The uncertain, unmotivated, “drifting through life” type of female is more common than one might think. I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting several driven, successful women that make it even worse for this type of girl. You wonder if they’ll ever make moves that will ultimately lead them to their idea of success or if they’ll continue to work at the local five-and-dime.

5. She believes that “twerking” is an acceptable dance move in her mid-twenties.

Miley Cyrus is her “hero.” She firmly believes that no one can “hold her down” and “judge her,” but the truth is that everyone does. The way you represent yourself while out on the town still exists the next day. Just because you had one too many shots of vodka doesn’t mean the girl snapping your picture and posting it online did. Welcome to the world of social media.

6. Lying, stealing, and cheating. Yeah.

7. She has a severe case of FOMO.

Fear of missing out, also known as FOMO, is one of the worst diseases to ever plague young women and men. It causes severe anxiety, depression, and a chronic use of the phrase, “Wish you were here!!!!” It’s hard to put into words how difficult it is to deal with someone that suffers from severe FOMO, but imagine being on a romantic getaway that you’ve been planning for months, and your girlfriend is upset that she can’t “go out with the girls to the piano bar.” Way to go, girl. Way to go.

8. She consistently talks about her ex-boyfriends.

While it’s important to understand where your significant other is coming from, if you take her to dinner and the only thing she talks about is how her ex once took her to a fancy restaurant and what they ordered, it’s excessive. Learn to filter. And by the way, the whole “I don’t have a filter” thing, yeah, that’s not real. And if it is, you should probably seek medical attention.

9. She is unable to speak in a logical fashion about anything.

If confronting your significant other about something simple turns into something that is out of control…run. Again, the bigger things in life will require someone that has a level head, can think for themselves, and isn’t afraid of the unknown or at least won’t run from it.

10. She expects you to be there for her, but it isn’t reciprocated.

You break your back to make time for her, but you’re still an option. Move on!

11. She can’t get over the fact that you have friends who are girls.

Some of my best friends are girls. They’ve never been anything but my friend, nor will they ever be, so why worry? Is it because you’re unable to control yourself with a guy friend? This type of action is worrisome. Personally speaking, I’m a professional, surrounded by PEOPLE, male and female, and respect them as such. While I do understand there is a fine line between being friends, lovers, and nothing, I believe that respect and trust go a long way.

12. She seeks the attention of others via massive amounts of selfies.

I’ve taken selfies. I’ve added filters. I’ve hashtagged. But I do not seek the approval of others via a selfie. If your girlfriend’s Instagram account is more than 50% selfies… run! As a guy, you want to feel like your opinion matters when your girlfriend asks, “How do I look?” However, this question has been replaced by a newer one, “How many likes will this get?”

In summary, it’s quite obvious that this article won’t change the world, but I do hope that it will serve as a guide. Run away from all things negative, focus on finding the good, and hopefully you’ll be able to point out those situations that may cause future problems in your own romantic endeavors. Until next time, live well.