12 Struggles Of Dating An Overly Attached Dog Owner
By Koty Neelis
1. It’s basically like a child. Wherever your date goes, the dog goes. Dogs are cute and everything but sometimes you just want to hang with your partner without some mutt’s slimey tongue all over you.
2. If you want to go on a long weekend or out for more than a few hours you always have to have the conversation of what to do with the dog – finding a dog sitter, leaving the dog at the kennel, or bringing it along.
3. If the dog’s in the room while you’re trying to get intimate it can get a little awkward when you look over and realize it’s been watching you the whole time.
4. You never know before meeting a date’s dog if the two of you are going to get along. And if for some reason the two of you don’t like each other, you know it’s likely your relationship won’t last.
5. Yet, if you DO get along with dog to the point where it ignores your partner and goes to you every time, your partner gets kinda crazy jealous about it all.
6. DOG HAIR EVERYWHERE. When your date makes a joke about dog hair being a condiment in their house you slowly recoil in horror.
7. You get a little sensitive because of how often your partner wants to take pics of their dog but not of you or you two together. You’re like, hey babe? What about us? And they just look at you blankly while snapping pics of their dog sleeping for the millionth time.
8. Sometimes you feel like it’s the dog’s world and you’re just living in it.
9. If they have a particularly possessive dog, good luck getting too close too soon with your date. The dog will decide when you two are allowed to hold hands, snuggle, etc.
10. So much for romantic kisses hello or goodbye at the door. The only thing happening at the door is a dog ridiculously excited to see you or smelling you up and down to check out if you’re cool or not.
11. When you’ve gone down on your partner it’s not always pubic hair you find in your mouth…
12. Your date regularly cuts evenings short if they’ve been away from their dog for too long. Their worried they might need to go out, they ate a couch cushion, they broke out of their cage, whatever. There’s always a reason they find to go back to the dog.