13 Struggles Of Being The Brutally Honest Friend


1. You have to censor yourself when your friend’s friends are around you because they’re not used to being around your usual candor. And once in a while you are bound to let it slip and it gets uncomfortable for a few people. Oops.

2. Your friends don’t actually ever apologize for you but they do this thing where they introduce you by saying, “Don’t take anything she [he] says too seriously.” And you often think in your head, “Take everything I say with the sense that there is always some truth behind it.”

3. A lot of people think you’re being funny when in reality you’re most likely pointing out something you find rather unbecoming. But to be fair, humor is a common coping mechanism for you.

4. You have to hold yourself back from commenting on things sometimes because your frankness is not always appreciated. So it does mean constantly gauging other people’s emotions to see if you can do what you do best.

5. When you are being sweet and nice, people are surprised. But nobody ever said the brutally honest friend had to be a nasty troll. And really, you’re more the type to call out the person being a nasty troll. 

6. But you do altogether believe that kindness is more important than niceness. And to you part of being kind, is telling the truth when it’s called upon. And well, the truth isn’t always nice and that’s just not your fault. 

7. People always ask you for advice when they want to hear the Gospel truth even when you know they’re not always prepared for it. And even if they are prepared for it, you never quite get the kind of reception that doesn’t make you at least feel a twinge of guilt from time to time.

8. You sometimes expect people to be stronger than they are which inevitably lands you into a lot of trouble with people who you care about. So you’re constantly reminded that no matter how much people know you and love you, you’re not always their favorite person in the room.

9. That being said, everyone always expects you to be the strong person. And you know as well as anyone else that nobody is strong 100% of the time. Even if you can fake it really well in the moments you aren’t feeling quite so strong.

10. You sometimes feel like you don’t always get enough credit for being the person that people really can go to and expect that you’ll be straight with them. It’s a weird sense of knowing you’re valued in one sense, but being underappreciated for the very same reason in another.

11. You do sometimes wonder if people can’t tell the difference between genuine meanness and the fact that the truth hurts sometimes. Because you never actually want to hurt people, least of all those you care about. You just genuinely believe in giving the truth how you’d like to receive it. 

12. Sometimes you might get a retaliation that is flat-out meant to hurt your feelings under the guise of, “don’t dish it if you can’t take it.” But you are definitely one person who understand that the goal of being honest with those you love is to help them, not harm them. So these situations and relationships can become interesting to maneuver around. 

13. People sometimes define you only by your brutal honesty. Which sometimes leaves out the fact that you can have some other important and maybe even gentle qualities too. Human beings are not one dimensional after all.

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