13 Symptoms Of Adderall Not Included On The Warning Label


1. Focus

You can have productive homework time…or binge an entire season of your favorite show. Some days may be spent catching up with literally everyone you know. My personal favorite is starting a fun side project that I SWEAR I’ll finish but is always destined for abandonment.

2. Rush of Emotion

You ever tear up when you think about what a great childhood you had? What about when you think of how far you’ve come? Give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it, champ.

3. Good Person Syndrome (GPS)

If you take Adderall it’s likely that you have become 300% better as a person at one point or another. Does someone need help with an annoying task? No problem! Now seems like a great time to reach out to an old friend! Let me just tell my mom how much I appreciate her. It’s great until people wonder why you aren’t like that all the time.

4. Word Repetition

Make no mistake; you become a more focused writer and have no difficulty making a point. But you’ll also be more apt to repeating yourself in a sentence when there’s room for what you want to say in multiple places. Have an example from my first draft:

If you take Adderall it’s likely that at some point you have become 300% better as a person at one point or another.

5. Loss of what appetite?

Lunch kind of stops happening when you take prescription stimulants. I don’t care if you’re an athletic 20-year-old guy who eats three plates of food at any given meal. Once you pop an Addy you’ll be forcing yourself to swallow your favorite dish bite by bite.

6. Miss Popular

You’ll introduce yourself with confidence and enjoy eye contact more than ever before. “Wow look at that small detail about you. Is it because of this?” (Of course it is). “Tell me about yourself.” It’s genuine too. People love feeling welcome, they like when people notice the little things about them. Now you’ve got a new BFF! Too bad you’ll have no idea how to talk to them later.

7. Team Captain

You will take charge by default because none of your group members have your energy. They’ll naturally look to your bright eyes and bushy tail and will likely do whatever you ask of them. However, because you’re experiencing GPS and want to be Miss Popular you’ll be the first to volunteer for the tough stuff.

8. Enlightenment

You figure out exactly how to get your life together and know exactly what you need to do. Too bad you can’t start until after you’ve done your work and your Adderall has worn off.

9. Chair Lock

Once you’re in, you’re in. For some reason your brain does not want you to stop what you’re doing. Not for anyone or anything. I’ve often been so into a paper that I would refuse to drink the water six inches away despite the fact that I’ve never been thirstier. There simply wasn’t time!

10. Scatterbrain

After about 5-7 hours of ultimate human productivity your brain just stops. I’ve ripped my room apart just to find the keys I was holding the whole time. And God forbid someone asks you a question. “I’m sorry can you repeat that like 2 more times? Sorry, I just didn’t process that.”  

11. Organization

Partly induced by the fact fact that you know you’ll need help when you become a complete scatterbrain in 3 hours. I have one Google document folder dedicated only to lists. Also, who knew cleaning could be so much fun?

12. Irritability

Why would he come in here and turn that picture upside down? Seriously. It’s just so immature. I mean it’s not a big deal but I mean why? Are you just that stupid that this is the only thing you can do to amuse yourself? I just feel bad for you at this point. I mean it doesn’t matter or anything, but still.

13. Unwarranted Outbursts

If I drop this GODDAM MOTHERFUCKING pencil one more FUCKING time I swear to God. SERIOUSLY? Why can’t I catch a fucking BREAK? CHRIST. First I get stuck in charge of this STUPID group project and now THIS? WHERE’S MY GODDAMN WATER? Oh, it’s right here. Where I left it. Um, sorry guys.