13 Things That Happen When You’re Cluelessly Navigating Your Way Through The Modern Dating World


1. When you go on a date you dress like you’re going to work. You have no idea how to dress for a date, so you figure it’s the same as going to the office. It may take a few dinners and a movie to figure out you don’t need to wear a pant suit to the Hunger Games premiere.

2. You try to persuade your friends to double date because you’re too scared to date alone. You can’t imagine being the only one sitting across from him or her at the table. Your friend and her date will make you feel like less of a nervous wreck.

3. You make perfectly normal things seem completely awkward. What will you do when there’s silence while you’re chewing? It’s not an awkward silence if you both have food in your mouth. Things are only awkward when you make them awkward.

4. You seem to be attracted to anyone who’s married or already dating someone else. You don’t pursue them, but anytime you turn to your friends and say, “Oooh, look at the cutie over there,” you either see a ring on his finger a minute later, or he uses the phrase, “my girlfriend” within the first two minutes of meeting you.

5. You forget important information about your date because you’re too nervous to actually listen to what they’re saying. While he is telling you where he went to college and what he studied, you’re too busy thinking about his defined jawline. Try to concentrate less on the face that is speaking and more on the words that are coming out of his mouth.

6. You try the online thing, but never actually meet anyone. You have plenty of conversations virtually, but you just can’t seem to muster up the courage to meet them in person. You’ve seen far too many episodes of Catfish to take the risk.

7. You go for people who want to f*ck, not date. You’re ready for a relationship, which is why you’re trying to date in the first place, but every potential date you go for has other ideas in mind. If you know what you want, don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t want the same thing.

8. Your friends are sick of giving you dating advice. You ask them so many questions, because you’re genuinely that clueless on how the whole dating thing works, but they can’t date for you, you have to figure some things out for yourself.

9. You have an idea of ‘Mr. or Mrs. Right,’ but go on dates with the exact opposite. You tell yourself you want someone who can carry an intriguing conversation, but you’re sitting across from a guy who won’t stop talking about his shoe size.

10. You mistake your immediate attraction for emotional connection. Just because you feel butterflies doesn’t mean you’re in love. Your physical desire to jump his bones is not the same thing as falling for him. You’ll figure out the difference eventually.

11. People ask you why you’re still single, and you never have an answer. Does there need to be a reason? That should be your response.

12. You ask your date really personal questions because you have no idea what’s too personal. Asking about his ex on the first date is probably not the best idea.

13. You try really hard to be yourself and end up being someone completely different. Easier said than done, but you don’t have to try to be yourself. You are who you are, and hopefully you’ll date someone who accepts that.