14 Unexpected Ways Your Mother-Daughter Dynamic Completely Transforms In Your 20s

1. You’re more honest with each other and while it can make things more uncomfortable initially, it ends up strengthening your communication. You don’t need to sugar coat news, or lie about the things she would’ve disapproved of 10 years ago. Finally feeling like you can tell your mother things without getting a judgemental glare as a response makes you feel more at ease, and those moments prompt her to share things with you too.

2. You can bitch about work together. Is there anything that can form a bond more than hatred of a boss, a deadline, a work environment or the shared loathing of a company’s vacation policy?

3. By now you’ve been through a lot of sh*t together. Once you hit your 20s, your mom and you have been experienced loss together, failed moves, failed marriages, or family crises. Once you’ve stood next to your parent at a time of complete panic, or heartbreak, your relationship inevitably changes.

4. Jokes about sex are ALMOST acceptable. Parent euphemisms that flew under the radar when you were a kid, and were gross when you were a teenager, are suddenly hilarious in your mid 20s. Once you’ve both mutually accepted that sex is a thing both of you have, awkward jokes are necessary.

5. And booze seems equally necessary. Drinking together is better than you’d hoped. Not everyone grew up in a “try a sip” household, and freeing yourself of the drinking taboo is a welcome step in your newfound dynamic.

6. You start to realize that your weird, overly particular habits are exactly alike– the way you put on face cream, how you make plans or your illegible handwriting you used to make fun of her for.

7. You start swapping clothes and shoes, and realize the clothes you used to avoid at all costs are now the clothes you’ve been searching for, mainly because The Loft went from being your enemy to your primary work attire.

8. Your ability to swear in front of each other is really rounding out your conversations.

9. Your workout goals are pretty in sync. After you’ve graduated (high school or college) and are over doing 800 different athletic activities, you understand the truth your mother had to struggle with: Working out in real life is hard. You and your mom can now encourage each other toward ~fitness goals~ and it’s a beautiful thing.

10. You’re overly conscious about her spending money on you. When you’re set against being a burden on your mother, she’ll appreciate it, even if she still insists on treating you. The appreciation is rewarding on both ends.

11. You still fight, but now it’s over completely different things. Minor squabbles over clothing and classes you’re taking have been replaced with arguments over apartment locations and jobs. And while it’s never fun to be lectured about salary, it’s nice to have someone who will always reinforce what you’re worth.

12. You become more of a duo, a pair or a team. Your compatibilities have synced and made way for tandem activities, and you actually stick up for each other instead of pointing fingers.

13. Your mother’s learned that independence comes with not questioning your every move (in theory) which has strengthened your relationship. You’re less apt to be defensive if you know they aren’t watching or judging your every (mis)step.

14. You can help, and teach each other things, and that’s validating as a daughter. Giving advice, whether it’s about money, marriage, or something far simpler, and seeing that it’s implemented is one of the ways mothers unknowingly flatter their daughters.