14 Vital Pieces Of Advice On Modern Day Friendship That You Need To Follow in 2017

1. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Learn their IDs, accounts, Facebook page addresses AND passwords. This way, you can be the first to learn basic stuff like the weather in Japan or that your ex is moving in with the girl he was also cheating on you with.

2. Stop carrying your boyfriends to the mall, girls. They HATE watching you shop as much as they can get an allergy from peanuts. You want them to be your sex mates or your BFF? Choose wisely.

3. Never bitch about friends in front of friends. And if you do, make sure you use a super decent and classy tone.  So they don’t ever get mad at you, but at themselves. Don’t do it like Katy Perry, listen to me.

4. Remember “Wannabe” of the Spice Girls? Those lyrics of the nineties were damn right about how love affairs should start. You wanna be together, get along with my friends, mate. Sorry, someone just had to let you know.

5. There are times in life when friendship instinct beats everything – distance, fights, silence or broken relationships. If your ex ex ex best friend is in a super bad moment in their life and you have the power to just pick up the phone and check if they’re ok, JUST DO IT.

6. It’s really OK to tell your girlfriends stuff about your boyfriend. Nice stuff, pretty stuff, crappy stuff, they should be fine with your neediness/rants/crazy calls at 2 am. Just don’t insist on the dirty details. It’s none of their business. However, if you do, mention something totally unflattering like his erection problems. They’re friends, they’ll understand.

7. Life gives us all sort of friendships. There are those that we come across while waiting on the queue to pay for our milk. Those that draw us back in childhood with very distant, yet dear memories. Some that end at an unexpected time just to give us a lesson or a time to recreate and that may light up again with age. A few that we cherish for the good and the bad driven through together. And one or two that make our life spectacular and limitless with inspiration, strength and love. Those last ones are worth searching for your whole life.

8. Sometimes it’s good to just listen to your gut and start new no matter what people say.  They will eat shit anyway. A very smart person once said she’d have saved 10 years of a lifetime if had not she spent overtime in bad relationships. Surround yourself with the human beings/animals/things that make your life a place for your heart! Do not compromise.

9. Remember that a good friend won’t cut you down when you’re in need, won’t talk trash about you, will not underrate who you are and most of all, will stay true to you. And that’s love.

10. “There’s nothing good about getting older-absolutely nothing-because the amount of wisdom and experience you gain is negligible compared to what you lose. You do gain a couple of things-you gain a little bittersweet and sour wisdom from your heartbreaks and failures and things-but what you lose is so catastrophic in every way” is what Woody Allen once said for Interview Magazine. The man is totally right. I mean, look at us.  We meet people. We get involved, we fall in love. Then we fall out or apart and carry on looking for something or someone else. Sometimes with free will, some other times as requested by events. And the worst part is, we don’t ever get better. We are scarred for life, from every romantic mishap or life punch. We get all dramatic and shit because society always points its finger on single people calling them failures, BUT we ARE afraid to get close to anyone, and anyone is not getting any closer to use either cause we’re sending the wrong signal, I guess.

11. Always make small talk to your friends over coffee, a drink, phone or even YM at 1 am on Monday morning. Not only it clears your head but also brings out such modern words of wisdom you couldn’t positively think of when alone rubbing mint on the Internet.

12. Whenever you feel hungover, hungry, in the mood for love, sex and Bob Dylan at the same time, just don’t go watching any depressing movie from the 50s like “A streetcar named desire” that would bum your head even more. Just….go take a shower, love yourself, call a friend or eat some toast. Please.

13. When 100 people who don’t know you from anywhere else than Facebook are TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY interested in your private life, you should just, well…ban them?

14. Never give up on what you call your dreams, aspirations, life plans and goals. They’re part of what YOU represent as an individual. Do not get fooled into expecting less and less with time, just to please others. It’s never a bad thing to want more. It’s not unrealistic to deserve. Get your hopes up and pack for a better self, life and expectations. It’s okay to feel low.