15 Signs It’s Time To Rethink Your Friendship


1) They’re always “too busy” for you.

Let me put it straight: Busy is bullshit. Everybody is busy. If someone matters to you, you will absolutely make time for them. So don’t accept busy as a legitimate excuse, especially when it’s always being used. You ought to reevaluate the friendship altogether. I fell out of a friendship of over twenty years. He was always too busy, which I was cool with, until he made it obvious that he was being ungrateful and taking me for granted.

2) They do flaky things like talking to your ex.

Without you knowing. And when you try to talk to them about it, they’re very ready to defend themselves with technicalities like, “But you guys have broken up. I’ve the right to talk to her.” You don’t need friends like these. Trust me, they’re only watching out for themselves.

3) They’re never on time.

A person who isn’t punctual does not respect you. You don’t need to put up with that crap. Life is too short to wait for people who don’t really care about you in the first place.

4) They don’t care to know you for who you are, only what you can do for them.

Say you work at a club as a bouncer. You’re considered as nothing more than a way to get on the free guest list and cut the queue. Don’t be fooled. If they appear nice at first, it means they really want something out of you.

5) They go apeshit crazy on the little mistake you made.

And conveniently forget about the time you helped them out. Perhaps to assuage their own guilt, most people focus on the mistakes of others. But personally, I think real friends forgive and forget to make sure both parties grow as friends.

6) They say that you’re an important friend but never bother to update you on anything important.

Just got engaged? She just gave birth? A loved one has passed on? If you have to discover these things through others—or worse, social media—you’re not an important person on their list. No excuses.

7) They have at least more than a handful of people who talk shit about them.

I used to have a friend that I was close to. There were many times when others, even those who I just introduced him to, had something bad to say about him. I always defended him then, thinking that only I could see the good in him. Eventually we had a major falling out and right after that, everything that others had said about him made sense. I think it’s cool to be a loyal friend, but when there are way too many who have something bad to say, you HAVE to listen. You’d only be deluding yourself otherwise.

8) They make money a problem.

They borrow money consistently and don’t return it on time, if at all. They strategically appear and disappear at the bar so you’re the one footing the bill all the time. They always jump at the chance to make you treat them to things when you experience a windfall. If money is a contributing factor to your stress levels because of your friends, maybe it’s time to wonder if they really are your friends.

9) They don’t care about your journey to success, only what your success can give them.

Speaking of money and windfalls, yep, they’d want to know what they can gain from you when you become successful. They will not be interested in how you’ve grown as a person on your route to success.

10) They constantly try to pry uncomfortable details out of you.

Such as how much salary you draw, how long you last in bed, etc. They don’t care for the answer really. They just want to know if they’re better than you in that small, tiny way. If they think they are, they’ll use it against you next time. If they feel they aren’t, they will drill you with even more things.

11) They lie all the damn time.

A liar cannot be trusted. Nothing more, nothing less.

12) They take out their insecurities on you by being a jerk just so they can get the attention they want.

Basically, they’d become total jerks to you and you wouldn’t know why at first. Then you find out later that he or she is going through some crisis. And when things are going well in their lives, they don’t even give you any attention. Basically, you’re their punching bag. Real friends do not treat each other that way.

13) You question the changes you make for them.

Because you are not really comfortable about the lifestyle you’re leading now. Never forget who you are. Real friends will respect your roots and where you’re from. They will not enforce their ways on you.

14) There is constant immature drama going on within your circle.

Somebody “Liked” a photo and that upset somebody. Your friends are arguing in the WhatsApp group and somebody just rage-quit altogether. People are copying and pasting screenshots of what he or she said on Facebook. They’re asking whose side you are on.

So much drama, man. Keep a safe distance. You don’t need any of that.

15) The fact that you even need to think about it.

Nothing much to say here. Yeah.