15 Things That Happen When You’re On A Diet That Make You Seem Kind Of Crazy

Bikini season is upon us! Weather you’re trying to maintain your beach bod or still trying to shed a few pounds, a lot of us are trying out some new diet or detox. Here are fifteen things that happen to us all.

1. Food porn begins to consume your life.

I just googled Kaiser rolls.

2. You take things as personal attacks.

How dare there be national doughnut day, doesn’t instagram know I am on a cleanse?!

3. Everything induces craving.

“I love your earrings; they are the exact color of doritios.”

4. You crave things you don’t even like.

I could so go for some licorice right now.

5. You crave things you’ve never even had.

I could so go for a cronut right now.

6. Unpredictable emotional responses.

Once I cried in public because they were out of tomatoes.

7. You open a bag of chips and put your face in it.

Just “for the smell”

8. You bend the rules.

Potato chips can be considered a vegetable, right?

9. You find loopholes in whatever rules you’re following.

Did you know that Oreos are vegan?

10. You look up everything.

I once sat next to a vending machine googling the ingredients of all of its contents to find something gluten free.

11. You don’t look up anything.

On second thought, if I don’t know what’s in it, it’s not really cheating.

12. You’re surprised at nutritional facts.

Hint: everything contains milk and is cooked in butter.

13. Your taste buds lie to you.

Once I thoroughly enjoyed a lettuce and mustard sandwich because I was so deprived.

14. You fantasize about the end.

I plan out my cheat meals before I even start a diet.

15. You always think you’re starving.

You’re not. Eat a carrot.