15 Things That People Who Grew Up As Middle Children Do Differently When Dating


1. We don’t need constant attention or reassurance from you. 

We were used to having to share attention with a lot of other people when we were younger, so when it comes to relationships, we’re very used to not having attention showered on us 24/7.

2. In fact, we actually prefer that you don’t give us too much attention.

That would immediately freak us out and make us feel suffocated. And probably a little bored.

3. On the other hand, you should be prepared for the fact that we tend to be very extroverted and outgoing.

We put a strong emphasis on being funny, talkative, interesting, silly, and basically anything else that would make our personality stand out from other people (read: our siblings). For the most part, it makes dating us really fun. But occasionally, it can also be overwhelming.

4. We found a niche for ourselves early-on. 

We weren’t the oldest of the family, the first-born, the over-achiever. And we weren’t the youngest in the family, the baby, the one who got away with everything. We were in the middle, and we figured out how to create a nice little niche for ourselves. Whether it was a sport we got really good at or a hobby that we turned into a career or anything in between, we found a way to give ourselves an identity.

5. …Meaning we’re very sure of ourselves. 

We know what we like and we know how to be straight-up about what we want. We’re comfortable with who we are, so most of the time, you won’t find us wrestling with any unaddressed insecurities or personal issues that get in the way of a functional relationship.

6. That being said, we’re not robots. 

We have feelings and insecurities and self-doubt. And sometimes, we need you to force us to talk about those things, because we’re used to just sweeping it under the rug so that we can keep things moving smoothly.

7. Sometimes it may be hard for you to figure out what it is that we want, because we’re used to going with the flow. 

Sure, we’re up front with you about how we feel and what we want in a relationship. But we’re also very easy-going when it comes to the littler things in the relationship, like where we want to go to dinner or what we want for our birthday or how we want to celebrate our anniversary. We sometimes reach a level of go-with-the-flow that might drive you a little insane.

8. We’re always trying to keep the peace. 

We might have tried throwing a lot of temper tantrums as children in an attempt to get attention, but we quickly realized that wasn’t going to get us anywhere. We learned that things are easiest for us when everybody is happy and everyone is getting along, so we’re always doing everything we can to avoid conflict, whether that’s with you or our friends or our large family.

9. We’re very self-sufficient. 

We weren’t neglected as children, but at the same time, our parents had multiple kids to worry about. We never had anyone at our beck and call, so when we really wanted something, we figured out how to get it ourselves. When we needed help with something, we usually found the answer on our own. We don’t need to depend on anyone else to fix our problems, not even our significant others.

10. We sometimes experience Middle Child Syndrome, but we never let it get in the way of our happiness.  

We make jokes about it, but it’s also very real. We’re prone to occasional outbursts or random fits of sensitivity. Usually, you just have to listen patiently and let it blow over, because we’re pretty good at calming ourselves down all on our own.

11. We know how to share. 

If you want to hang out with your friends or take a break to travel or spend some time with your family, no problem. We’re used to sharing everything, including people. So if you need some time away from us, we’re happy to oblige. And we can guarantee we’ll find plenty of things to keep us occupied while we’re away from you.

12. We’re always pretty flexible, because we’re used to not getting our way. 

We understand that dating means we have to make some sacrifices and compromises if this is going to work. We try to be as adaptable and open-minded as possible. But be careful, because not getting our way has caused us to become very, very good at negotiating.

13. Most of the time, we’re very patient and hardly ever demanding. 

We waited around a lot as kids. For help with our homework, for our bedtime story, for our turn to be pushed on the swing. Being a middle child taught us that your time will come, you just have to learn how to wait for it. So if you’ve got a lot going on at work or you don’t want to do anything tonight besides sit on the couch in our sweatpants together, don’t worry, we’re down to hang.

14. We feel much less pressure to conform, which can be very healthy for our dating lives. 

In fact, we learned early on that dancing to the beat of our own drum and doing what we wanted to do was much more fun and easy for us than trying to blend in or go unnoticed. We’ve carried that lesson into our relationships, which is why we spend very little time about how our relationships or our dating choices look to other people.

15. We can learn to get along with pretty much anyone.

Being a middle child means we were exposed to a lot of different personalities at a young age – our siblings, our friends, our siblings’ friends, our cousins, etc. No one was going to baby us or learn how to revolve around our social preferences. So instead, we learned how to get along with anyone and adapt to pretty much any social situation. So don’t be afraid of bringing us home to meet your family or introducing us to your friends or coworkers. We’ll get along just swimmingly.