16 Kinds Of People Amazon Thinks Will Use The New Amazon Fire Phone


On Wednesday, Amazon introduced its new Fire Phone, a product meant to directly compete with the two largest phone providers in the United States, Apple and Samsung, and immerse users in the world of Amazon.

In a big presentation, Amazon founder and chief executive officer, Jeff Bezos, displayed all the bells and whistles the phone has. In the four years it took to create the phone, Bezos said the company asked itself only one question: “Can we build a better phone for our most engaged customers?”

What followed was a video presentation of the phone in use, featuring “regular people” that are to represent the engaged Amazon customers that would use the phone.

The thing is, after watching it, I was less impressed with the phone and more questioning whether or not Amazon thinks their most engaged customers are only white. Because the cast of characters featured in the video feels more like a commercial for the Mormon church, and less like a fancy new phone.

1. The Nerdy Hipster White Dude

2. The Detailed Oriented White Blond Chick (Who Is Probably Bossy)

3. The Typical White Game of Thrones Fan

4. The White Guy That Talks With His Hands

5. The Blond Girl That Used To Be A Cheerleader But Has Since Gone Vegan

6. The White (Possibly Jewish) Guy in a V-Neck… Who is Also Probably Gay

7. The White Girl You Get Stuck Next to On a Plane

8. The Ambiguously White (But Could Possibly Be Mistaken as Latina) Hardworking Mom

9. The White Ginger Beefcake

10. The Brunette (Who Is White)

11. The White Lefty Who Probably Composts

12. The Perpetually Surprised White Girl

13. The Hip New White Bald Dad

14. The White Former High School Football Star aka Brah

But they didn’t forget all the minorities! They included….

15. The Asian Guy That Never Looks Directly Into the Camera

16. The Black Woman Whose Body Language Reads, “Black People Use Phones Too, Ya Know”

But it’s okay, Amazon — even though racial and ethnic minorities make up 28% of the U.S. population while your video features 2 minorities out of the 16 people used (13%), I think we get the message. Only plaid wearing, mostly blond, white engaged Amazon customers are truly immersed (and can afford) new technology.