17 Perfectly Acceptable Reasons You’re Still Single
By Jacob Geers
1. You really love yourself, and you aren’t afraid of saying it!
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2. Food is forever and always your #1 bae.
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3. You are a little nerdy sometimes…
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4. And really sassy almost all the time.
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5. Your know your tastes, and most humans just don’t cut it.
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6. Also, can going on dates really compare to just staying in bed?
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7. And exercise just sucks.
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8. Plus, you wouldn’t even know where to go for a fancy dinner.
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9. Real life love can never live up to what’s in books anyway.
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10. You’re just learning to take of yourself, never-mind someone else too!!
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11. You prolly don’t take dating seriously. Life is truly just a joke lololol.
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12. Though there certainly are ways to woo you…
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13. …nobody has quite mastered them yet.
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14. Honestly, you’re just waiting for fate to intervene.
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15. Though with your track record with good luck, that will probably never actually happen.
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16. It doesn’t matter, anyway! You are a single badass!
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17. Haters gonna hate, single lyfe is da best lyfe!
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You are your own best big spoon and little spoon.