17 Struggles Of Being The Friend Who “Doesn’t Have Any Emotions”
By Kim Quindlen
1. Your friends are fascinated by your apparent lack of emotions. Although you constantly remind them that you do feel things and you just have trouble showing it outwardly, they are not convinced.
2. …So when you do have the occasional meltdown where you actually get visibly upset or distraught, everybody freezes up and they forget to comfort you, because they’re too busy staring in shock.
3. When you and your friends watch a sad movie together, you feel really uncomfortable. Not because of the movie being sad, but because everyone else is balling their eyes out and you’re worried they’re going to think you’re weird for not doing the same.
4. You also hate it because you feel equally as sad as they do, but you hardly ever cry. So they all get a feeling of release from sobbing while they watch Marley & Me, but you’re left with a heavy feeling in your chest and you’re convinced you’re going to just explode.
5. Jokes are made about how you “don’t have a soul” on a regular basis.
6. You feel terrified when someone gives you a sentimental card or gift, because if you open it and don’t immediately get teary-eyed, you’re worried that they’re going to think you hate it or you don’t care about their gift.
7. During big milestones such as graduation or having to move away from each other, you spent half the time convincing your friends that you really were truly upset and devastated, because they kept teasing you and saying you didn’t even care.
8. Developing feelings for someone is extremely uncomfortable and painful for you, because your friends all give you these knowing smirks that are basically saying Haha! You’re feeling something and we caught you!
9. …So although you really enjoy those first few weeks of falling in love with someone, you also hate it because all of your friends are unbearably annoying.
10. And then, when you finally admit that you’re in love or have strong feelings for someone, your friends all freak out and act dramatically shocked. And you’re #overit.
11. Whenever you’re drunk, your friends try to get you to share your feelings or be emotional. And sometimes, if they get you to drink enough, they’re successful.
12. Your friends have too much fun saying “I love you” to you because they know it makes you feel awkward.
13. And they especially enjoy texting “LOVE YOUUUU!!!” in all caps with dozens of emojis because they know you just literally can’t with it.
14. Everybody knows that even though it takes a lot to get you visibly upset, there are certain movies or songs that do it for you. They still talk about the time you guys watched Toy Story 3 and you were inconsolable.
15. You hate when the holidays come around and all the sappy Christmas songs come on the radio – not because you don’t appreciate the music, but because it means your friends are all going to start laughing when “The Christmas Shoes” comes on the radio and you don’t cry.
16. When you try to make a case for yourself and how you secretly do feel ALL OF THE FEELS people just stare at you blankly and wonder when you’re going to be finished talking.
17. Although your friends like to tease you good-naturedly about not having feelings, they know not to bring up those first ten minutes of Up, because you will lose your shit. SO MANY FEELINGS IN SO LITTLE TIME.