17 Things Only People Who Kind Of Suck At Adulthood Understand


1. You paid your taxes. But only after a low-key breakdown. “Assets?!? Do I have assets!?! I mean, if you count my BUBBLY PERSONALITY AND COLLECTION OF SHARK MEMORABILIA???”

2. You’re constantly fluctuating between eating super healthy and then acting like you’re still in college. Fresh ingredients this week! A spinach smoothie! Coconut water! Followed by a week of microwavable mystery food and CUPS OF NOODLES ON CUPS OF NOOOODLES.

3. You still want to engage in the Penis game.

4. You giggled to yourself because “Penis game” sounds like I was referring to sex and hehe. Penis. Hehe. Sex.

5. You are proactive with doctor appointments. You know you’ve only got one body and it’s important to make sure it’s in working condition. But you still have this weird insecurity when ACTUALLY talking to them. “Any new sexual partners this year?” *nervous giggle* “I mean, yes. But we are in a very committed relationship. Like, yeah. Almost engaged really. Seriously. Just him. But…yeah, throw in an STD test while we’re at it just for funsies.”

6. You’ve referred to others as “adults” as if you aren’t also one.

7. Checking your voicemail causes a strange panic inside you. CAN’T YOU JUST TEXT ME?

8. Sometimes you wish you could still sit at the kid’s table.

9. You are dependable and will show up at work ready to give 100%…But that doesn’t always mean you know what you’re doing.

10. The phrase “when I grow I want to be a ___” freaks you out because you did grow up…and now?

11. You’re still really into making forts out of pillows and blankets. NOBODY can match your skill level. You’ll be making damn castles, just watch.

12. You never stopped having sleepovers.

13. You Google “what does ___ mean?” at least once a week.

14. You have this strange jealousy wash over you when walking past the toy section in Target.

15. You’ve realized it’s been all day and you straight up forgot to eat food. Like, the most basic self-survival thing. And you just…forgot to feed yourself.

16. Your skin still breaks out and you’re like, “Um, so this is the fun part of adolescence I get to have forever?”

17. You’re ashamed to admit it, but a lot of the time you just really need someone to rub your back and say, “You’re gonna be okay, kid.”