17 Things That Absolutely Suck About The Male Body (According To 17 Men)
1. Going bald.
“Losing my hair is a very stressful, very public, slow, strung-out torturous experience.”
2. So much hair everywhere else.
“All of the hair. In my late 20s, and it’s everywhere. The face, the chest, the belly, the back, the arms, legs, ears, crotch. So much hair.”
3. Being short.
“I get a lot more shit for being short.”
4. Not allowed to wear makeup if you’re ugly.
“Ugly, but can’t wear makeup.”
5. Not allowed to shave your armpits.
“Armpit hair is pretty gross, but I don’t want to get razor burn on my pits, and it’d be weird for me to have none there. so I’m stuck with gross armpit hair.”
6. Morning wood.
“Morning wood. It’s the worst when staying the night at someone’s house.”
7. Trying to pee with morning wood.
“I have an upward curve and trying to pee with morning wood. I can’t get 20 feet away from the bowl due to poor bathroom layout. It’s really annoying so I have to try and hold it down (doesn’t really work) or piss in the tub (which is only a little gross really).”
8. The last drop always falls in your pants.
“This little drop off pee after you go to the bathroom that sometime makes a little dark wet spot on your underwear.”
9. There is no winning when it comes to peeing.
“If you pee standing up, there will be secondary splashing on the toilet and proximity area.
If you pee sitting down, you will touch the bowl with the tip, and there will be some drops falling on the seat when you stand up.
There is no winning.”
10. Getting your balls stuck to your thigh.
“Random boners and my balls sticking to my thigh.”
11. Elderly ball sag.
“I’m getting older. Last year we were in a casino and I had to rock a deuce, I sat on the toilet and my balls just barely dipped in the water…that.”
12. Testicular torsion.
“My eternal fear of testicular torsion.”
13. Vinegary balls and arse hair.
“Vinegary balls and arse hair.”
14. Balls are always in the way, and always giving us pain.
“My balls. I love my penis but I could live without balls. Always in the way, and always giving me pain.”
15. Accidentally crushing our balls while asleep.
“I’m a side sleeper. Every few weeks, it seems, I’ll accidentally crush my balls between my thighs, and wake up in pain. So, that.”
16. Mud butt and sweaty crotch on hot days.
“Honestly, mud butt or the sweaty crotch on hot days. Fuckin’ shit is too much.”
17. Being skinny isn’t considered hot like with girls.
“Skinny? You’re completely undesirable… AND you can’t find clothes that fit. Everything’s either baggy or too short, if not both.”