17 Women Reveal How They Improved Their Self-Confidence For Good (And It Has Nothing To Do With Looks)


1. “I trained myself to stop saying ‘sorry’ all the time. It was such an instinctual thing, even when I wasn’t the one that screwed up, and it was a really hard habit to break. But I’m so glad that I’ve finally stopped apologizing when other people are the ones who screwed up.”
–Maddie, 28


2. “Drinking more water! Go on Amazon right now, order one of those dishwasher-safe cups with a lid and a straw, and put it in front of you as you work. Life-changing.”

–Lela, 29


3. “I no longer speak poorly about myself just to make other people feel more comfortable.”

–Gloria, 23


4. “I’ve stopped ending every sentence in a question? You know, like this? Where it sounds like I’m not sure about something even when I’m completely sure about it? I noticed that I would do it at work a lot, and I think on some level it was because I work in a largely male-dominated environment and I felt this bizarre impulse to make my coworkers feel comfortable around me by not being too ‘assertive’ even though that’s exactly what I should have been doing – being assertive and confident about myself and my ideas. Sometimes it’s still a challenge, but I’ve mostly stopped caring about making men feel comfortable and am more focused on me and what I have to bring to the table.”

–Candyce, 26


5. “No more fuckboys. If you’re honest with yourself, you know who they are the minute you meet them. And if you avoid them by reminding yourself that you deserve better, it will change everything.”

–Mo, 24


6. “I’m forcing myself to get more sleep. As in, at least eight hours. And I won’t feel bad about that, because that’s what we’re SUPPOSED to get. We’re just made to feel like we’re lazy or weaker than other women if we sleep more than five or six hours and that’s complete bullshit.”

–Terri, 31


7. “I’m reading one book a month. Doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s a hell of a lot more than no books a month. It makes me feel good to be doing something other than scrolling through a bunch of newsfeed stuff that I forget about the minute it’s out of my sight. I just feel better, like I’m feeding my brain instead of turning it to mush.”

–Jody, 29


8. “Spending time around good, loyal, supportive friends. People who lift me up and who I totally trust and who make me feel like I can just be me instead of some flawless, vapid version of myself.”

–Grace, 25


9. “Making eye contact with people and holding it. They always break first. Not only is it confidence-boosting, it’s also kind of funny to see how uncomfortable it makes people.”

–Clare, 27


10. “I listen to a really good playlist on my way to work. Upbeat songs, happy stuff, songs that make me feel like a bad ass, etc.”

–Amanda, 24


11. “Finding stuff that I do just on my own, that has nothing to do with my boyfriend and is just stuff for me. I go on walks by myself, am making more of an effort to spend time with friends, I’m taking a drawing class. It’s making a huge difference, way more than I expected.”

–Mona, 26


12. “Being honest with myself. Do I actually want to go out tonight or do I really need to just take a night in for myself? Do I really get something out of this friendship with this person or are they just bringing negativity into my life? Am I happy at this job or not? That sort of thing.”

–Jasmine, 25


13. “Taking a break from the internet. It’s impossible to stay away, but I do spend less time on it. And it’s made a difference. People are just so brutal and awful and it’s discouraging. It feels a lot better to just go sit with a person in real life and have good conversation.”

–Cristina, 22


14. “Being nicer to everyone. Then if they’re still a jerk to me, I know it’s their problem, not mine.”

–Ann, 29


15. “Asking for, or taking, stuff that I know deserve. A day off. A massage. Asked for a raise a couple months ago. More help with apartment upkeep from my roommates. It’s made my life a lot easier and my confidence a lot stronger. I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner.”

–Libby, 24


16. “Writing down all of the stuff that I’m grateful for each day. It’s not so much that it directly improves my confidence, but it forces me to stop worrying so much about all the stupid stuff that clogs my mind and gives me needless anxiety all day.”

–Elena, 28


17. “I stopped spending time around people who suck. Best thing I ever did.”

–Charlie, 27