18 People That Exist In Every College Dorm


1. The Lost Puppy

You’ll probably find this one in the laundry room trying to figure out the difference between detergent and fabric softener. They haven’t been away from their lovely home for long, and are still trying to figure out how to adult. Thank goodness the dorms have dining halls, otherwise this student would starve as well.

2. The Loch Ness Monster

You’ve never actually seen this person. You know they exist because their roommate mentions them from time to time, but the closest you’ve come to actually seeing them is a blurry image of them in the background of your neighbor’s Instagram photo.

3. The Lounge Lurker

If you ever need to find this person, just go to the lounge. They’re always there. They love talking with people, and like to make themselves available as often as possible. That, or they have a horrible roommate, and just prefer to be anywhere but in their room as often as possible.

4. The James Dean

He’s a man of few words, but everyone in the dorm has a moderate to severe crush on him. He probably smokes and definitely drinks, but in a really casual way, not in a Woooo college! way.

5. The James Deen

This person is always hooking up with someone. You never really see them with the same date twice, and you’re a little mystified by their charm, but mostly because you’re a bit jealous.

6. The Eternally Sexiled

There’s a 95% chance that they’re James Deen’s roommate. You can usually find them sitting in the lounge or another person’s room, because their room is always in use.

7. The Apatow Productions

This is a collection of friends that you always see together, and are almost always high. They can usually be found smoking in one of their rooms, where they think they’re being super clever by blowing the smoke out the window, but everyone knows. Everyone. And just like your love for Seth Rogan, even if you’re not really into that scene, you still inexplicably want to be a part of their crowd.

8. The Cool RA

Everybody in the entire dorm knows this RA by name, and wants to be their best friend. They have over a thousand friends on Facebook simply because every year, an entire dorm population eagerly sends off a friend request within five minutes of meeting them.

9. The Scary RA

This one’s the exact opposite of The Cool RA. They’re probably actually one of the best RAs in terms of keeping the dorms safe, but everyone sees them as the Dolores Umbridge of the dorm.

10. The Transfer Student

They’re a solid two years older than everyone else, and probably low-key regretting signing up for dorms instead of getting an apartment. They usually quickly bond with the RAs, because they’re actually the same age. Everyone looks at these students as the cool older brother that you’re always trying to impress a little and secretly hoping will buy you beer.

11. The Perpetually Late One

You’ve never really gotten a good look at this one, because you’ve only ever seen them running down the hall, massively late for class.

12. The Sorority Sisters

They’re the closest you really get to a “popular crowd” in college. They’re not actually super popular, but they seem popular, because you’re always filled with massive FOMO whenever you see them getting ready for some sorority event, while you’re sitting on your bed eating Cheeto Puffs and loading Netflix.

13. The Student Athlete

You can identify this one by their odd love for socks and sandals. They all look like they could kill you with a light shove, because they’re honestly in better shape than you’ll ever be in your entire life. Their hair is almost always wet, because they’re constantly coming to or from a work out or shower.

14. The Time Turner

This one is taking so many classes, they must have a time turner because otherwise they would be dead. They once listed all the classes they were taking, and you thought they were listing the entire course catalog for the university.

15. The One That Fell Out Of The Hangover

They came to college to party, and they’re not afraid to show it. On the rare occasions they show up to class, they’re rocking dark sunglasses and a strong coffee. They’re also the person most likely to beg for your notes come final season, because oops.

16. The Politically Active

They’re actually aware of what’s happening in the world, and are often posting flyers about the latest rally or upcoming election. You’re always a little intimidated by them, but feel like an infinitely better person every time you go to dinner with them.

17. The Genius

They like to mention that they got into [insert Ivy League school here], but decided to go to your school for a reason that they conveniently forget to mention every time. Most people don’t really like this person, but mostly because they destroyed the curve on the midterm, and no one’s forgiven them for that yet.

18. The Forever Friends

Your friends. You met each other within a week of starting school, and you can already tell you lucked out, because you just happened to meet the coolest people on the planet. They’re not going anywhere for a long time.