18 Signs You’re Dating A Hipster

1. You share clothes, regardless of your size or gender.

2. Their Tumblr eats up so much of their time you actually argue about when they’re going to get off the internet and participate in the relationship rather than blog about it and reblog pictures of animals and obscure band lyrics.

3. But then again, you always know where you stand based on what lyrics they’re reblogging.

4. Your first date was over cafe au laits at this new coffee shop they just discovered.

5. Their cat isn’t sure about you. And so they aren’t sure about you.

6. They’re not shaving SOMETHING for November.

7. Your perfect evening together is cooking an organic meal and putting the excess food into the compost bin outside while you gaze out into the Paleo abyss.

8. If they could, they’d make you mix tapes on vinyls. But you get mix tapes regardless. Lots of mix tapes.

9. They actually, literally have to take their glasses off before you get it on because they’ll just fall off or get in the way. Like, the rims are so huge they’d get stuck between your thighs. That just got more graphic and #real than I intended it to be.

10. When you walk into their apartment it’s like a fucking national library. You’ll never have to buy a book again and you’ll end up using stacks of them as nightstands and shit.

11. Everything is candlelit. Now I actually love and do this but not for the reasons my weird lil hipster girlfriend does.

12. When you apologize because you forgot to shave your legs yet again they all but tear up and start going on about loving you because you’re a real human being and wanting you to be your natural self.

13. You have hours-long discussions about theories and feminism and culture and when pop music peaked and books you read for literary theory class.

14. The days of baking brownies for your lover are gone, no matter how pot-infused they are, they’ll still be scoffed at because they’re not gluten free.

15. You spend a lot of your time thinking about dirty uses for all the scarves they wear through every season, heat wave, indoor activity and summer vacation.

16. You’re often getting slightly chastised for not knowing the band they just went to the concert of, though you’re not sure why you need to know them because they’re just like the 93028590235 other acoustic emotional songbirds you have to listen to now.

17. You drink your coffee, they drink their exotic, organic, 100% gluten-free vegan-ass tea.

18. You regularly get emails from them badgering you to sign online petitions for some cause you’re going to hear about at great length that evening.