19 Things You Should Know About Dating A Woman Who Is Meant To Be In The City


1. She doesn’t secretly harbor dreams of wanting to run off to the country side with you. You know what the countryside has to offer? Ticks. Grass that goes up your skirt. Dirt that you find between your toes 6 days later. It’s one thing to spend a weekend on the cape, or in Vermont, but she’s not trying to shack up there and open a B&B with you.

2. She’ll judge you (just slightly) if you don’t know your way around. And while she won’t be subtle about it, she’ll also secretly enjoy being able to show you the ins-and-outs of the city, and all the place you could never find.

3. She has very specific opinions about modes of transportation and ideal routes: Whether it’s preferable to take the subway, a cab, or an Uber. Whether you should take the roads or the freeways. She has a plan during rush hour, always.

4. If she eventually wants to move away with you, it’s going to be to another city. Or to a town with very, very easy access to the city.

5. If she has any sort of affinity for camping, it’s fueled by the appeal of drinking by a fire. But you will never be more surprised than when you invite her camping and she actually agrees to go.

6. She has a restaurant list on her phone. Don’t be shy about asking her where she might like to eat. She has Yelp and Google maps open on her computer already, so you may as well take advantage of her skills.

7. Outdoor sex to her means sex on a patio. Even sex in a room with bay windows and a view would suffice. State park sex is not a thing she’s interested in having. Why would you guys be going to a state park? There is no need to picnic far away. There’s a park across the street.

8. She has pride for her home city, or the city she now lives in, like you wouldn’t believe. She loves looking forward to the holidays her city celebrates best, and she will pester you until you’re equally excited about them.

9. Don’t be surprised if she has a huge sports team loyalties. Don’t assume you know more about what’s going on in a hockey game than she does and remember that the NFL’s fastest growing demographic is women. Bloomberg says so.

10. Relaxation is a loose term for her. She likes the fast pace of her city, she likes getting too much done, being productive and making plans. Keeping up with her is a challenge, but a worthwhile one.

11. She might not know how to drive. Be cool about that fact. When someone grows up near the subway, sitting through agonizing hours of driver’s ed doesn’t seem necessary. And then that someone wakes up as a 20-something and still doesn’t know how to drive. It happens.

12. If you’re meeting the parents, remember that they’re likely also from a city, or spent a lot of time there. They’ll have great stories about their cities in the ‘60s, or 70s, or some decade you weren’t alive during. Be prepared to hear those stories.

13. Things that phase people from out of town are completely natural to her. If you’re shocked at something you come across, but she doesn’t flinch, it’s not because she’s brushing you off. it just seemed normal to her.

14. If you’re meeting up before 10 in the morning, first, why? And second, bring coffee.

15. She can be brusque and a little distant, because that’s how you’re taught to act growing up in a big city. It isn’t a reflection on you, you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just part of her personality.

16. She can either sleep through everything, or she can’t make it through the night. There’s no happy medium. Related: She probably hates her neighbors because they won’t shut up.

17. She isn’t jumpy. If she’s lived in an apartment for many, many years, she’s used to whatever noises the upstairs neighbors make. She doesn’t hear footsteps and assume she’s getting robbed. So… calm down.

18. She knows where to get cheap brunch, and how to find the most affordable happy hours. She knows which restaurants do dollar oysters on which nights, and where to find the good Chinese food so you never have to eat the impostor shit again. Stick with her if you want to eat well without spending too much.

19. Remember that she likes having you around, even though she doesn’t need your help when hailing a cab, or finding her way home. To her, it just feels good to share the place she loves with someone.