20 Brain Farts That Let You Know Your Mind Is Shot


Being absent-minded. Acting like a total space cadet. Or a ditz. Call it what you will, but we all experience moments of forgetfulness, which often result in moments we’d rather forget! Whether from aging, too much multi-tasking, killing brain cells with booze and drugs, or just good old-fashioned inattentiveness, here are some signs that your body’s RAM disc is crashing.

1. You’re in the middle of taking a shower, hands all lathered up, and you wonder, “Is this soap or shampoo?”

2. You find your missing car keys in your toolbox.

3. You pick up a vitamin supplement to boost memory power, but keep forgetting to take it.

4. You spend ten minutes frantically searching for the eyeglasses that you are already wearing.

5. When introduced to someone, their name goes right out of your head during the handshake.

6. After cleaning the kitchen floor, you put the jug of disinfectant in the fridge.

7. While writing a check for groceries, you suddenly lose the mental capacity required to spell the word “eleven.”

8. Also, it’s April, and you’re still putting the previous year on your checks.

9. Your morning commute is disrupted after a few blocks when the coffee mug you left on the roof of your car finally topples over and spills down the windshield, scaring the crap out of you.

10. And that foul stench coming from the backseat? The half-eaten turkey sub you stashed back there a month ago.

11. While someone shares a story, you keep interrupting to ask about previous details like “Who is Dave, again?” and “Where did you say his sister works?”

12. A lot of your conversations end with, “What was I talking about?”

13. You drive through an intersection and realize you have no clue if the light was red or green.

14. During breakfast, you discover that you’ve poured a jug of disinfectant into your cereal. After getting a new bowl and using milk, you proceed to put the milk jug in the cabinet under the sink.

15. You leave the mall and think your car’s been stolen because you forgot you parked over by the Applebee’s.

16. You want to write down something important that you need to remember, and by the time you find a pen you’ve forgotten what the important thing was.

17. Or worse, you go into another a room to find a pen and can’t recall why you went in there.

18. In fact, most times you walk into a room you can’t recall why you went in there!

19. You start to accuse others of not telling you things because you forgot they told you.

20. You try to…wait…what is this list I’m writing?