20 Hilarious Tweets That Will Make You Appreciate Living Alone

There are obviously numerous perks and disadvantages to living alone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t laugh at both sides. Here are 20 hilarious tweets that make the joys, or misery, of living alone seem not that bad. 

I love living alone but then I remember that one time Cherie got trapped in the refrigerator and Punky couldn’t find her and I get scared.

— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) July 2, 2011

Having to hold in my farts during a mere five minute conversation is a reminder of why living alone is such a blessed thing.

— kdn (@kdn13) February 28, 2013

Any movie where a woman living alone nibbles a snack as opposed to shoveling it into her mouth by the fistful is fake and wrong.

— Ari Scott (@ariscott) August 9, 2012

I’m not worried about dying alone I’m worried about living with someone

— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) April 24, 2013

“The great thing about living alone is…” *slips in bathtub/chokes on fishbone*

— Laura Benanti (@LauraBenanti) February 20, 2014

one of the many advantages of living alone and almost never coming into close contact with people is that i don’t have the swine flu.

— 000___000 (@000___000) February 7, 2014

i am worried that living alone will make me pursue a mediocre relationship just so i have someone to talk to about tv dramas in real time

— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) January 7, 2014

The best part of living alone has got to be waking up without a dick on your back.

— Stephanie (@conanobrienswyf) May 15, 2011

Living alone is great until you need to zip up a dress and then you are fucked.

— molly (@Molly_Kats) June 16, 2013

The best part about living alone is probably not having to sweep the onion skins out of your bed every night.

— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) April 6, 2012

The best part about living alone is walking into your house and taking off your clothes like they are on actual fire.

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) August 21, 2013

I get scared when toast pops out of the toaster, so no, I’m not capable of living alone.

— Heidi (@DJHouseSlippers) January 22, 2013

Living alone is neat because you can be on your period & cry over things like “not having chicken soup” & nobody judges or comforts you.

— Lisa Bizzle (@Lisa_Bizzle) January 5, 2013

My biggest fear about living alone is that a crazed gunman might break in while I’m in the shower and laugh at my penis.

— Josh Beck (@jshbck) December 21, 2012

One of the nice things about living alone is how much more time you can spend in the shower knocked unconscious.

— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) December 13, 2012

Living alone means that literally nobody cares if I’m wearing pants.

— $pencer (@13spencer) May 8, 2013

Living alone comes with special perks, like the freedom to scratch your back against the arm of your couch while you’re completely nude.

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 10, 2011

The best part of living alone is that you never have anyone annoying you with stupid questions like  “why are you crying on Christmas?”

— Drew Schnoebelen (@Dschnoeb) December 25, 2011

I liked it better living alone because there was nobody to get all bent out of shape just because I decided to sleep on the dining table.

— Jeb Lund (@Mobute) October 18, 2013

The worst part about living alone is when you sneeze and nobody’s around to say “shut up”.

— Lauren Reeves (@laurenreeves) October 9, 2013