20 Things You Learn Growing Up In Washington, D.C.


1. The cost of living here makes you seriously consider joining Sugardaddy.com.

2. Everybody knows each other in some way. You have a third cousin twice removed that lives in Antarctica? Oh em gee I know him! Did we just become best friends? Yup.

3. You start to question the humanity of the person who thought construction at rush hour was a solid idea. Seriously though, who stole your soul?

4. There is no avoiding traffic unless you’re driving at 5am, in which case you probably feel like an honorary member of The Kane Show by now.

5. Mother Nature rules the government and schools.

6. It hurts to be a D.C. sports fan but we torture ourselves for them anyway because if we drink enough beer watching them, it tastes like love.

7. A lot of people stop riding the metro long enough to jump on the Washington Capitals bandwagon.

8. The metro will actually steal your soul.

9. Anacostia is the forbidden land.

10. Guy ratio > girl ratio. May the odds be ever in your favor, gentlemen.

11. Tinder selection is below par unless you expand your location to 100 miles. Or you can do it the old fashioned way and settle for someone at the bar.

12. Master the art of avoiding people when you see fifteen of your former classmates out at the bar every weekend without fail.

13. Home of the bros and bow ties. Which probably also makes it home to virgins.

14. You experience more rejection in your lifetime from taxi drivers who won’t drive more than 20 miles. Well joke is on you, taxi driver.. You’re out, Uber is in.

15. You can spot newbies by the way they refer to the metro as the subway and get really excited to see the monuments. Bless their hearts.

16. Winning a free happy hour at McFadden’s loses it’s excitement after the fifth time.

17. Most likely to be considered an outcast if you didn’t go a Virginia college or university. But like, now what do we talk about?

18. You feel extra patriotic since you live in or around the nation’s capital.

19. Completely forget the history that D.C. has and maybe go to the monuments once a year. See what I mean? Patriotism.

20. Hide yo kids and hide yo wife if politics gets brought up.

featured image – Flickr / Kevin Dooley