21 Exercises And What They Should Actually Be Called

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1. Squats: Real Life Photoshop Effects For Your Butt.

2. Crunches: Do Like 100 Of These And Check For A Six-Pack Immediately After.

3. Push-Ups: Workout Like You’re In A Movie Montage.

4. Pull-Ups: Go Ahead, Ask Me! C’mon, I Know You Want To! Oh, You’re Going To Be Shy About It? Well, I’ll Just Come Right Out And Say It: YES, I Do Crossfit, Let Me Tell You More About It.

5. Bench Press: This Is Going To Look Magnificent On Instagram And Everyone Will Know I’m In The #Gym

6. Dumbbell Curls/Concentration Curls: Not Everyone Who Does These Is A Frat Bro, But Everyone Who Is A Frat Bro Does These

7. Running On The Treadmill: Boredom While Watching Basic Cable With Closed Captions.

8. Running Outdoors: Boredom While Watching Nature.

9. Sprints: Not Worth It Unless There Are NFL Scouts Watching You.

10. Yoga: Oh Hey Whoa This Is Way Harder Than It Looks That’s What She Said.

11. Elliptical: How TF Have I Only Burned 14 Calories?

12. Lunges: Hurts So Good In The Moment, But The Soreness Tomorrow Will Be Ten Times Worse.

13. Jumping Jacks: Grade School P.E.

14. Bicycling: Getting In The Way Of Automobile Drivers And Pedestrians.

15. Stationary Bicycling: How Much Work Is This Really If I Could Easily Eat And Text While Doing It?

16. Box Jumps: Hmm, Wouldn’t it Be Easier To Just Not?

17. Walking: Cardio For Nanas.

18. Tire Flipping: Haha Chill Out

19. Deadlift: Make Loud Noises That Sound Like A Climaxing Dragon So Everyone Knows You’re There And Sees How Strong You’re Being.

20. Anything Involving Medicine Balls: Rich Celebrity Getting In Shape With A Personal Trainer Because They Have Lots Of Money & Time To Do These Fancy Exercises.

21. Stairmaster: 1 Minute In Real Time = 45 Minutes On This.

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