21 Hilarious, But Effective Movie Comebacks You Should Use Everyday*


*Probably don’t use them everyday, because hopefully you aren’t needing comebacks that often. But use them often. With friends preferably. OKAY I’M DONE. ENJOY.

1. “Isn’t it rather dangerous to use one’s entire vocabulary in a single sentence?”

Oliver and Company (1988)

2. “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

3. “I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.”

The Princess Bride (1987)

4. “A hundred thousand sperm, and you were the fastest?”

Vertical Limit (2000)

5. “You are what the French call, les incompetents.”

Home Alone (1990)

6. “I’m sorry, but were you dropped on your head as an infant, or were you just born stupid?”

The Help (2011)

7. “To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs.”

A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

8. “You are nothing! If you were in my toilet I wouldn’t bother flushing it. My bathmat means more to me than you.”

Swimming With Sharks (1994)

9. “You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.”

Toy Story (1995)

10. “You look like an old mop.”

Bridesmaids (2011)

11. “That’s it! I’ve had it with you and your emotional constipation.”

Tarzan (1999)

12. “If [you] were an ice cream flavor, [you’d] be pralines and dick.”

Wayne’s World (1992)

13. “If I wanted a joke, I’d follow you into the john and watch you take a leak”

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987)

14. “Face it, you’re a neo-maxi-zoom dweebie.”

The Breakfast Club (1985)

15. “In the whole vast configuration of things, I’d say you’re nothing but a scurvy little spider!”

It’s A Wonderful Life (1946)

16. “I don’t like your jerk-off name. I don’t like your jerk-off face. I don’t like your jerk-off behavior, and I don’t like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?”

The Big Lebowski (1998)

17. “If I had a dick, this is where I’d tell you to suck it!”

Lake Placid (1999)

18. “Roses are red, violets are blue…Fuck you, whore.”

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

19. “Your mama’s like a vacuum cleaner. She sucks, she blows, and then gets laid in a closet.”

The Campaign (2012)

20. “The skin under your eyes is starting to look like Hugh Hefner’s ball sack.”

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

21. “You are a smelly pirate hooker… Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”

Anchorman (2004)