21 People Share The Most Hilarious Excuse They’ve Used To Get Out Of Sex


1. Kim, 27

“Sorry, I have to go out of town in the morning,” which wasn’t all that hilarious, but then I ran into the guy the next day, and explaining why my plans changed was the most cringeworthy experience ever.

2. Sarah, 24

One time I told a guy that I couldn’t sleep with him because I was Jewish. First of all, I’m not Jewish and secondly that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. He accepted it so I guess it worked.

3. Chris, 29

I once said I get really clingy after sex, and it scared her away. Reverse psychology is never bad.

4. Rhonda, 23

I had a guy over and we were watching Jurassic Park 2, for some reason. He kept trying to make a move, but I really wasn’t interested. I told him I was really into the movie and wanted to focus on it. Then when it ended he tried to take things to the bedroom and I said I needed him to go so I could watch Jurassic Park 3 by myself and take it all in.

5. Audrey, 28

I told a guy he couldn’t come over because I thought my apartment was haunted. I was just tired and didn’t feel like it. No clue why I went with haunting instead of sleepy, though.

6. Pete, 30

I told a girl I was saving myself for marriage. She thought it was super sweet, actually, and I had to eventually shake her off for the next two months.

7. Glenn, 25

I told a girl we could only kiss because I had a bunch of ingrown hairs. I think it would have been better just to break up instead of making up that terrible story.

8. Patrick, 29

I told someone I was straight. At a gay bar. Where I am a regular.

9. Kim, 23

This is really embarrassing, but one time I told a guy I wasn’t in the mood and needed to go home, but the truth was, my phone was about to die and I didn’t have my charger with me.

10. Heather, 27

I honestly started taking early morning workout classes as an excuse to get out of bad dates. If you book it the day before, you can’t cancel. Rarely are guys worth losing $35.

11. Clint, 29

I told this girl that I couldn’t come over because my dad had died, which was stupid because his company works with the company where she was employed. She knew it was a lie and never talked to me again.

12. Cheryl, 27

I once told a guy I needed to go home and feed my roommate’s cat. I had previously told him in the date that I am extremely allergic to cats. Also, my roommate has a goldfish.

13. Austin, 27

I said that my roommate hates it when other people come over, and that I really couldn’t invite guests over because I was a subletter and it was his rules.

14. Brett, 20

I told a girl I couldn’t sleep with her because I had HPV and didn’t have a condom. Could you really say anything dumber than that? Why would I make up an STD for myself??

15. Nikki, 31

I told a guy I had to be up really early for work the next day. Unfortunately he was a co-worker and knew my schedule. That one didn’t go over too well.

16. Michael, 27

I said I had a kid at home waiting for me.

17. Ellen, 23

This is more on how I got the guy to stop calling me, but I said I wanted to wait until I knew he really loved me because I already loved him so much and I wanted it to be special. I think I called it lovemaking. He never texted again.

18. Courtney, 27

I wasn’t really into this guy as much as he was into me, so I started crying during a John Mayer song and said it was too emotional for me so I needed to be alone. He tried to act like it was some emotional journey for him too, but I kept insisting I needed to be alone. Guys, don’t ever pretend to cry to John Mayer to get a girl to sleep with you.

19. Ben, 28

I said I wanted her dog to watch.

20. Jackson, 28

This girl was supposed to come over, but I had started seeing someone else so I panicked and told her not to come over because I had to untangle my headphones. Imagine being shot down in favor of untangled headphones.

21. Kendra, 21

I changed my mind halfway through a booty-call text and did the full on “oh sorry, that should have gone to someone else! just realized who this was, sorry have a great night!