21 REAL Reasons Why I Was Late For Work

1. I hit the snooze button 13 times, then eventually just turned it off.

2. I haven’t done laundry in 3.5 weeks and my dog ate my last fresh pair of underwear while I was in the shower. So, I had to stop at Target for a new pair on the way in. They didn’t open til 8am.

3. I couldn’t find my keys ANYWHERE. Then, once I finally found them (in the place I had already checked 5 times), I had to check in the mirror to see if you could tell that my frustration had brought me to tears. On my way to the mirror
I ended up losing them again.

4. My dog wanted to play chase out back for twenty minutes instead of coming back inside after going potty.

5. Even though I was three miles from my exit, there was traffic and I was out of patience so I took a detour that added on another 25 minutes to my drive.

6. Mother Nature made her debut for the month a few days early, conveniently enough on the same day that I chose to wear my favorite white jeans. #Uturn

7. The drive-thru line at Starbucks was wrapped around the building, but that caramel macchiato was so fucking worth it.

8. I sat down in the car and then couldn’t imagine sitting in these skinny jeans all day, so I went back inside to change into leggings.

9. I couldn’t remember if I turned off my hair straightener, so I went back home to check.

10. I had two different shoes on.

11. A family of ducks needed to cross the road in front of me. And they were so damn adorable that I had to stop, take a photo and wait for each one to make it safely across. No duck left behind.

12. I looked down at my dashboard and had 4 miles left before running out gas, but was 6 miles from work. Can’t risk having to walk to a gas station in 6″ heels, had to pull over.

13. I sat in the parking lot for 7 minutes trying to find the best filter for my #wcw post.

14. I just can’t.

15. I tried on 6 different outfits and cried because I thought I looked fat in everything, then I had to redo my makeup.

16. People don’t know how to fucking drive.

17. I called into a radio station for a chance to talk to a Psychic and actually got through, so I pulled over at McDonalds. They put me on hold for 3 songs and a commercial break (which is like 15 minutes) before I actually got to speak with her. All that, just for her to tell me “my time would come” when I asked her when I would be getting married.

18. I needed to stop for new glittery stickers and colored pens for my new agenda planner.

19. I couldn’t find my eyeliner and those thin black lines across my eyes are what make me function properly on a daily basis.

20. I set my alarm for 6pm instead of 6am.

21. This time of expected arrival just really isn’t working for me.