21 Signs Your Most Solid Relationship Is With Your Barista


1. Your barista knows your name and order on sight as you walk through the coffee shop door every morning.

2. … and has remarked that you’re running later than usual if you slept in or hit traffic.

3. In fact, they have often had your coffee waiting for you because your internal caffeine clock is just that freaking dependable.

4. You often feel guilty for “cheating on them” with the barista at the coffee shop by your office (or by your home, if your go-to is by work.)

5. If you move apartments or switch jobs, you go through the tearful motions of “… but.. but… but… but now a new coffee shop will have to learn my order all over again!”

6. (This will take approximately 1.72 weeks, because you are nothing without your java.)

7. Any day you mix up your regular order is slightly unsettling to your barista, and they look at you as if maybe you were abducted by aliens overnight.

8. You’re 92% sure that some mention of you and/or your regular order is made when your barista trains a new coworker.

9. They have spelled your name right on your coffee cup.

10. You have genuinely thought to yourself, “I wonder if they’re on Instagram,” so you can tag said properly spelled name with the magical human being who gifted it to you.

11. There is only one person whom you’d trust to see you in sweatpants and flip flops, without makeup or brushed hair, and generally looking like you never left the college dorms — and they are your barista.

12. Deep down, you know they are the only person who can temper the raging beast that is You: Before Coffee Edition!™.

13. You have made a pact to never be That Person who rages because their foamy cappuccino has slightly TOO much foam and are you sure this is 0.75% fat? No, not you. You trust the angel behind the bar.

14. Whenever anyone suggests a coffee date, you’re like, “Oh, I know a great little place!” and secretly hope they play along because you inherently distrust any other coffee shop on principle.

15. You’ve shared sympathetic little glances and knowing little looks with your barista on days when they’re slammed with people in line who clearly do not know how to order.

16. They’ve swirled a cute little heart into your latte foam, and though you know that maybe they do that to everyone, you still think to yourself, “No. Mine is special. I bet everyone else today got a leaf. This heart is just for me.”

17. Whenever anyone suggests that maybe you spend too much money on coffee, you tell them you’ve budgeted it out so that a certain part of your paycheck goes to coffee – and you have the spreadsheet to prove it.

18. You’ve taken dates or potential new relationships to your coffee shop so that your barista can provide crucial feedback on this new candidate.

19. The fact that someone wouldn’t know their barista’s name and what else they have going on in their life isn’t just odd to you, but downright rude. (Because yeah, they each have names and lives outside of this godsend of an espresso bar.)

20. You’re like 99% sure that the gratitude you feel towards their coffee slinging has manifested itself into out and out love.

21. If you go on vacation or try to brew coffee at home for a small period of time, your barista will comment on how they “haven’t seen you in a while” and it is all you can do from saying, “I know, god, I’ve missed you, dear baby Jesus never leave me again, I promise I will never, ever, ever stray again.” And neither of you think that is in any way an overreaction.

featured image – backleychris/Instagram