21 Thoughts You May Have Right Before Turning 21


1. No more fear, this is freedom!!

2. Will I drink better alcohol now? Naw probably not…just because I’m 21 doesn’t mean I’m not still broke.

3. I am not even remotely old enough to be 21. I haven’t had enough life experiences.

4. I’m not done being a stupid reckless teenager. I don’t want to grow up. I’m not done messing up and being sloppy! I didn’t do enough crazy teenage hijinks, and now I will never be able to!

5. If a person turns 21 while studying abroad, and no one’s there to check their ID, does it even count?

6. This night probably won’t live up to my expectations.

7. These are my golden years…sigh…

8. Am I having the time of my life yet?

9. Man my parents must feel OLD. Like I feel old, but they must feel ANCIENT.

10. Does this even matter at all?

11. When did themed birthday parties go out of style? I miss planned activities, and balloons, and face paint. Is face paint weird at a 21st?

12. I think those birthday sashes and tiaras are obnoxious, but I definitely still want them. Like I might be sad if my friends don’t get them for me…it’s sad to buy my own right?

13. I’m supposed to remember/not remember this birthday forever…man, that’s a lot of pressure.

14. I do not look as old, hip, fabulous, or cool as my image of what a 21-year-old should look like, which brings us back to me not being old enough for this shit. Doesn’t turning 21 mean that you’re super hot and all skin blemishes go away and your wardrobe looks like the Vogue closet and you stop wearing athletic leggings everywhere? I think I’ll wait to turn 21 until that happens.

15. I wonder if anyone has ever had 21 shots on their 21st birthday night? I know I would definitely die if I got anywhere near that number, but I’m sure people try all the time. But like…that kind of seems like a death wish. Is that a thing? I hope it’s not a thing…

16. I can now post party pictures of me on Facebook drinking, yay! Jk I still want a job.

17. If you really think about it, Mothers Against Drunk Driving is actually responsible for the hype surrounding 21st birthdays. If they hadn’t lobbied for changing the drinking age to 21, then there would be no significance of the 21st birthday, with the exception of becoming a year older. Funny that this big birthday is an entirely modern American construct, that not only do people in other countries not experience, but also our parents didn’t either. I think getting older is making me more philosophical…and annoying…

18. Is it really betchy to only want to drink champagne on my 21st?

19. Hmmm…what should my first legal drink be? Like I feel like what I choose will set the tone for the type of “adult” drinker I will be and while my heart says “Sex on the Beach”, my head says, “You’re better than that”. Is a martini trying too hard? Do I even like martinis? What’s with the whole olive/onion business? Pulling a Carrie and ordering a Cosmo is so basic it hurts…but…

20. I should probably learn something about alcohol now, so I don’t look like a fool when I frequent bars, where I am now welcome and can walk carefree, hehehe, yay 21!!!

21. This is actually so anticlimactic it’s not even funny. Can’t wait to go to bars by myself now until the rest of my friends turn 21!