22 Reasons I Wish I Wasn’t With You


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  1. The most motivated or driven I’ve ever seen you has been when you’re looking for drugs.
  2. We only ever have about two things to talk about: partying and drugs, and the crappy music that I got you into years ago.
  3. I only pretend to still like that crappy music so that we’ll have something to talk about besides partying and drugs.
  4. You are a dirty west coast hipster and I am a preppy New England snob.
  5. Our life goals simply do not match up: you want to be in LA for the rest of your life and I belong in Boston.
  6. We already didn’t work out once.
  7. Because we’ve gone in different directions with our lives since we became best friends in high school, we have almost nothing in common.
  8. You refuse to even mention me to half of your friends.
  9. Your guy friends are all friends with my brother (who disapproves of us) so I don’t get to see them, and your girl friends are substance-less and insufferable.
  10. A part of me knows that I’m only with you to spite my last ex, who was a rebound from you the first time around.
  11. I am forced to sneak around on the people I love just to see you.
  12. Even my best friend who is the queen of bad decisions and poor judgment says you are a bad idea.
  13. I am afraid to mention you to my best friend who is the queen of common sense, because I know she’ll tell me you are a bad idea.
  14. You were my best friend before we started dating and I feel like I’ve lost a part of that in exchange for sex.
  15. I’ve briefly dated a good friend of yours and I hate myself for being “that girl.”
  16. You are a compulsive liar—I know this because you underestimate my excellent memory.
  17. You are so painstakingly attractive that it just drives me wild.
  18. There is something about you that will never allow me to fully trust you.
  19. The fact that I’m the one who suggested we not be exclusive this time around makes me doubt the way I feel about you.
  20. My parents hate you with good reason, and deep down I know they’re right.
  21. You appreciate me for all the things I want to change about myself, and are ignorant to things about me for which I want people to appreciate me.
  22. Despite all these factors I can’t bring myself to let go.

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