22 Thoughts You’ve Had If You’re An American Living In Australia
By Becca Martin
1. “Why do people make such a big deal about vegemite? It’s gross, even when applied correctly.”
2. “So there aren’t actually kangaroos hopping around everywhere?”
3. “OMFG A KOALA SLEEPING.” *takes millions of snapchats*
4. “Wait, so you get FOUR WEEKS off for vacation a year?”
5. “If one more Australian says something to me about Donald Trump I’m going to flip.”
6. “So your colleges don’t have dorm rooms? And you call high school college? And college Uni? And you don’t call your classes freshman, sophomore, junior and senior?”
7. “You don’t pay for Uni until after you graduate in Australia????? wtf America????”
8. “There’s like 8 cities in Australia and the rest is nothing. Where are all the towns at?”
9. “Yes let’s grill!” “Um, you’re in Australia mate, it’s a barbeque.” OK.
10. “I didn’t realize there was a third type of football Australians call footy. I only thought there was football and soccer.”
11. “Okay, but where’s the Mexican food?? What do you mean you don’t have queso? SOS need chipotle.”
12. “You’re telling me you don’t even know what a bagel is? I’m done.”
13. “WHY DOES EVERYONE DRIVE SO SLOW HERE?!” *gets $225 speeding fine for going 9 kph over (aka 5.5 mph).* Oh. That’s why.
14. *Asks for temperature, gets told degrees in Celsius * “…..well, shit better Google it.”
15. “Shit, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to drink American coffee again.”
16. “LOL you don’t get Thanksgiving here, fml.”
17. “And you have Christmas on the beach? That’s like so wrong.”
18. “Not tipping is kind of cool, but it’s even cooler they pay their staff over $20 an hour.”
19. “Why do they call French fries ‘chips’? What about normal chips?
20. “Why are the sandwiches just bacon and egg? Where the hell is the cheese, they’re missing the best part.”
21. “Why is everything shortened here? Can no one can complete a full word? It’s air con, chicken parmi, ta, sunnies, aka air conditioning, chicken parmigiana, thank you and sun glasses.”
22. “Tim tam slams or bust!!!”