23 Things That Only People Who Went To A Stoner School In The Middle Of Nowhere Understand


1. You own enough tie-dye, flowing floral skirts and cropped tops to successfully clothe a small, music festival-bound army.

2. Getting to necessary stores – like an Apple store or a Forever 21 – required planning at least a week in advance because the closest one was over an hour away.

3. Your school didn’t observe any religious holidays. You didn’t get Easter Monday or Rosh Hashanah off. Instead, you got 4/20 off. It was off the books, but no teacher who held class after 2 p.m. on 4/20 was expecting you to show up. (The professors needed the afternoon off too.)

4. You have at least one festie friend who’s really good with a hula-hoop.

5. You never dated an athlete who gave you his lettermen jacket, but you still have your ex’s old drug rug. Say what you will, it’s really comfortable.

6. You would never go to an off campus house and not find at least 3 bongs on the table. Why else would people move off campus after their freshman year?

7. Your school had at least 2 of the following: natural beauty, a “small town feel,” or a Taco Bell.

8. Wings are never not a good idea.

9. You took an ambitious amount of politics and sociology courses, even though neither was your major. You just liked talking about the subject matter and/or smoking with your professor after class.

10. Smoking, ordering food, buying the local corner store out of Oreos and watching 4 movies, isn’t considered doing nothing. It’s considered a great Friday night.

11. It’s not surprising if you sleep with some one you met at a service event, someone who was featured in your documentary, someone you met at the activism event your friend dragged you to, or your dealer.

12. Even if you don’t smoke, you know how to pack a bowl and have helped make a homemade bong.

13. Your weekend activities used to involve going on walks, or exploring the town because there was nothing else to do. You were pretty much surrounded by farm country on all sides and there wasn’t a good movie theatre within a 50-mile radius.

14. You’ll always be enthusiastic about farmer’s markets, road trips and music festivals. Combine all three for the true trifecta.

15. A bandana is always an acceptable excuse for a headband.

16. You went on interviews after college and realized wearing the hemp bracelets and/or your peace earrings was probably a hindrance.

17. Your entire dorm smelled like weed sophomore year and even if you didn’t indulge, you learned to find the smell kind of relaxing.

18. You went to Salvo all year around, not just during ugly sweater party season. You cut up a lot of old clothes that you bought for $6 and fashioned them into an entirely new outfit. You still wear those outfits with pride.

19. People camped out on your quad with signs that said, “Hugs Not Drugs.” You’ve seen every sort of ~mellowed out~ sign in the book, including “Make Cookies Not War” and a picture of a lobster next to a pot of boiling water, that says, “Say No To Pot.” Classic.

20. Food was a necessary currency. You could trade a free meal for some adderall, if you played your cards right.

21. Your school’s been trying to rival University of Colorado Boulder in the “stoner schools” category for years.

22. You’re at the COMBINATION PIZZA HUT AND TACO BELL. (If you’re not sold on this song, now is a perfectly acceptable time to convert.)

23. You have a soft spot for Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Dazed and Confused, The Big Lebowski and pretty much anything James Franco and Seth Rogen were in together.